Quarantine. Week 3: At first things seemed okay. We were spending quality time together as a family.
We played Monopoly and the Game of Life. We ate chocolate, drank wine, and talked about working out. We binge-watched Tiger King. We dreamt about the home reno projects we would do. We cruised Pinterest and Instagram.
But then the hours turned into days and the days turned into weeks and now we’re here. Week 3. And things are NOT okay.
However, we are not alone in our slow descent into the first circle of hell. We are all in this together. And comedian Laura Clery proves it with her hilarious new video, “Week 3 of Quarantine.”
Laura nails what life looks like in the time of COVID-19, circa week 3. And it’s so real it hurts. From laughing so hard. Somewhat manically. Because re-al-i-ty.
The video is a montage of moments that touch on all the things defining life right now. Things like juggling parenthood with working from home, excessive hand washing, and the underlying fear of the pandemic.
And we’ve never felt so seen.
Laura opens the video with a sink full of dirty dishes.
“How are you filling up so fast? I just did you!”
Dressed in sweats and sporting Kung Fu moves, Laura is taunted by the dishes with their dirty little secrets. The dishes? They NEVER end. They multiply like a fluffle of horny rabbits.
And we begin to catch a glimpse of the mental toll quarantine is taking.
But in the next frame, she pulls it together. LIKE A BOSS. Unfazed, she is wrangling her son, Alfie, while simultaneously fielding a work call. I mean, she looks somewhat disheveled. But does it even matter? Messy hair? Don’t care. PJs all day? Rise and Slay people. Rise.And.Slay. Well, maybe not slay exactly. More like succumb to the mind-numbing state that is our existence now.
The clip then switches to Laura rapid-firing questions at her husband, Stephen, while different images play across the screen.
Why did you get 700 jalapenos?
Hey, what do you think of my quarantine nails? Do they turn you on?
Like, what even are jeans?
Seriously, what are they? Jeans? I don’t know about you but I haven’t put on a pair of real pants in weeks. Sweats. All day. Every day.
But it’s not just the neverending dishes, or the challenges of working from home, or the fact that your personal standards have reached a terrifying new low. Oh no.
There’s also the excessive handwashing a gazillion times a day, while singing Happy Birthday. Twice.
And the fear of running out of food and toilet paper and the subsequent rationing. Which leads to panic buying 700 jalapenos because Karen and her posse of doomsday preppers have wiped the grocery shelves clean.
The Amazon deliveryman becomes your new best friend.
From six feet away. Because social distancing. And online shopping. And somehow you end up with boxes of Tumeric that seemed like a good idea as you stared blankly into your empty pantry. But in hindsight, were not.
There’s also the constant underlying worry. The anxiety and chronic stress simmering just below the surface.
The fearful anticipation of what comes next. In the news, with your job, your finances, your health. You start to question every sneeze and tickle in your throat.
Paranoia seeps in.
Ugh, I’m out of breath. Does that mean…?
I got a super runny nose. That’s the first sign isn’t it?
I got a tickly throat. And I coughed.
You live for the moments when you can get outside. Go for a walk. But even then the coronavirus IS STILL THERE. There is no escape. You live in a 6 foot bubble now. You try to avoid coming in too close of contact with your neighbors. When you do see them you move to the other side of the street.
Cross, cross, cross, cross!
What if they cross?
I don’t know, then cross back!
You simultaneously miss people and are annoyed by people. Those people complaining on social media about being bored during lockdown? They are not your people.
You are not bored. You are drowning under the weight of juggling it all. Your family, your work, the house, keeping your shizzle together while the world is a flaming dumpster fire.
But once in a while you seek solace in some downtime. You start to think you should learn TikTok. Even if it’s for the younglings and you are 46 years old. With no moves. It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.
You lose track of what day it is. What time it is. How many hours you have been watching Netflix. It all blends together in one long endless stream of corona consciousness.
The video is 4 minutes and 17 seconds of life as we know it now.
It is a modern retelling of the movie Groundhog Day but it has crossed over from fiction into non-fiction. It showcases the repetitive nature of our days in a world confined to four walls. And our corresponding slips of sanity.
The clip concludes with Laura flinging jalapenos at Stephen, asking the question:
Have we lost our minds?
Yes, I think we have.
This period in our history is far from easy. We are all struggling with trying to navigate our “normal now.” All we can do is what we’ve been doing, taking it one day at a time. And hopefully finding moments like this, to laugh, along the way.
Week 3 of quarantine ? ?
Posted by Laura Clery on Wednesday, April 1, 2020