I’m Drowning in Clutter And It’s Making Me Depressed


As I sit here in my living room, looking around I see a pair of my husband’s shoes, a plastic little people camel, my vacuum, a cereal bowl, a dog bone, and the remnants of a child’s birthday party that took place 5 days ago.

I see clutter. It’s all around me and it’s making me depressed.


I’ve never been a person with an immaculate home. Nor am I a slob. Our house would always have been considered neat, but lived-in. However, lately I feel like we are on the cusp of slobby- a bathtub full of garbage away from our very own episode of Hoarders.

I know what you’re thinking: why don’t you just get up from the computer and clean it?

The truth is I’m exhausted. I’m drowning.

It’s 10:30 at night, and I’ve had a full day of chasing a toddler and hauling children to various extracurricular activities. I’m spent, and I just need a minute to sit down and relax. To write. To decompress. But the clutter is making that difficult.

Everywhere I look in my home I see my failures.

I failed to finish the dishes today. I failed to finish the laundry piled on the floor. I failed to finish vacuuming too, and my 8-year-old’s birthday decorations won’t be taken down anytime soon.

It doesn’t help that I grew up in a home that was immaculate. My mother did the dishes every night. Our clothes were always pressed and folded. She mopped and dusted weekly. Not to mention the fact that she was also a single mom and worked full-time. I don’t know how she did it.

Fast forward 30 years to my own home, where I’m a stay-at-home mom married to a husband who helps out, as most husbands do, and yet my house is nowhere near my mom’s standard of clean. And it seems like the more clutter we collect, the less motivated I am to take care of it.

I’m drowning in clutter – and so is my motivation.

The fact is I’m drowning in our clutter, and so is my drive to do anything about it. I get so overwhelmed at the prospect of starting to clean that it’s just easier to check social media for a few hours and take care of the clutter “later”.

I put it off until tomorrow and sentence myself to yet another day of wading around in our pool of junk. I refuse to admit to myself how much easier my life would be if I actually did something about the mess.

It’s hard to cook dinner when the counter is covered in crap. It’s even harder to get the kids to school on time when I can’t find a clean pair of pants for them to wear. It’s painfully awkward to have a Happy Meal box fall onto the ground from your minivan as you open the door to pick up the kids from school.

It’s hard to teach your autistic daughter how to put a puzzle together when you can’t find all the pieces. It’s tough to put your children to bed when you can’t find a Lego-free spot on the floor to safely walk.

t's easy for your life to feel overwhelmed with clutter. Getting organized is a big part of running a family, and sometimes, it's hard to stay on top of the mess. As a mom, there is a lot to do, and it's easy to get overwhelmed with all the responsiblity and start to feel depressed. You aren't alone. Trust me. #depression #momlife #filterfreeparents #clutter

It’s so incredibly difficult to parent when you’re drowning. You feel buried under the weight of all there is to do and all the stuff that surrounds you, all of it longing to be put in its place.

I find myself looking for an escape, whether it be shopping, vacations, or a good television binge-watching session. I want to get away from it all and forget about the failures I see all around me.

I’m looking in the backgrounds of pictures my friends post on social media, hoping to see clutter on their floors and counters. I want to know that I’m not alone. I want to know I’m not the only one failing.

I know I shouldn’t gauge my parenting on whether or not my home is clean, but I still do.

I’m always apologizing for the mess, and I don’t like it if visitors come over unexpectedly. I have a hard time inviting friends over for fear that they will judge the stain on my carpet, the stack of mail still sitting on the counter, or the pile of unorganized toys that seems to have taken up residence in our living room.

Someday I plan to host a lunch for all the moms in my neighborhood, but until my house is in order, I know that day will never come.

I envy those moms with a vinyl sign that says “Please excuse the mess, but the children are making memories.” Those moms are free; they are happy with their job performance. They are the good moms.


  1. I literally laughed out loud at the happy meal box falling out as the van door opens because I’ve definitely been there. I struggle to provide an ideal home as well, but, at least we have such a worthwhile struggle. Thanks Melissa, such an easy to follow and relatable read.

    • You are not alone! If I was at home right now I would send you a pic of the cluttered counter, towering stack of laundry, etc. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I have slowly begun to tackle it, thinking baby steps, just one little area at a time. Then something happens and boom everything is on hold while I take care of the mini emergency or pressing matter…then I am back to square one! Cluttered counter again! Towering Laundry pile…and all I can do is drag myself to the chair while I try desperately not to yell at my child over picking up, because, i have not picked up either!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

    • I’m with you. Sometimes I think I need to invite people over just so I’m forced to deal with things in a timely manner. At the same time, I don’t often because I get depressed that invitations aren’t reciprocated. Thanks Melissa, for an honest post. Many of us relate.

  2. Ohhhh man. This whole post is my life. Every single word. I feel you. And every time I start to declutter more crap comes in its place. The worst part is it’s everyone else’s stuff, the kids and the husband, but I just don’t know what to do with it or how to deal with it.

    • Oh my. You just described my house/life perfectly. I don’t know how to clean it up when it’s not even my stuff or mess. Hubby doesn’t want me to clean up his stuff yet he keeps adding to the piles. So frustrating.

  3. Thank you for this post! It fits me to a “T”. I am drowning in not just clutter but responsibilities. I can’t seem to do it all and I desperately want to. I have a 4 mos baby, near 2 yr old, 3 1/2 yr old, 15 yr old stepson, my folks love with us, a 2 story house, an acre of land, a busted lawn mower, and a husband who works incredibly hard just to get us food on the table. Thank God for our wonderful life, and I adore my 3 youngest. But every single bit of it is so hard for me now. The house isn’t clean most days. And I’m told I don’t spend enough time playing with my kids (bc I am trying to clean something). Can’t do it all. Or even most of it. At least there are other moms out there who relate. I’ve been saying that I’m drowning for the past couple of months. We have to believe it will get easier one day.

    • perhaps the next time someone remarks that you are not spending enough time with your little ones because you are cleaning something, you might sweetly ask if they are volunteeriing to clean the item you are cleaning so you can spend the time with your little blessings. then thank them profusely.you have a full plate and there must be someone you can have some time to walk away from it all if only for an hour. those breaks can make things look so much more possible. God bless you

  4. It’s like we are the same person! I totally get this. I’ve been living in a cluttered home ever since my twins were born. It took me 6 years, but I’ve finally started to ‘de-clutter’ it. It feels like I’m taking back my home actually as I’m getting rid of all the kids stuff in my living room. Be patient (and don’t be too hard on yourself) and just enjoy the messy ride we’re on. Xo

  5. OK… I’m just like you. But, I learned a simple technique to motivate me so that my current work space doesn’t create even more anxiety. I will set a timer for 5, 10 or 15 minutes and during this time I cannot leave this space and I attempt to clear it and put everything away in its proper place. It works for me. But my husband stuffs things away in drawers and closets with no attempt at making any sense to it… don’t let this happen because then you spend even more time looking for something! UGH! Another thing I do is say I will not leave this room until I put ten things away and I count every single sock, dirty diaper, etc sitting around as a thing. This may sound extreme but if I don’t do this I will avoid these tasks at all costs, sitting at my computer when the kids are at school and daydream online about how I’m going to try and create a new bedroom for myself with an actual bathroom attached. And I can waste away hours doing this! Or I will bounce around the house never getting even one space decluttered and feel a failure once again.

  6. My biggest issue with clutter is, I don’t bring it into my home. I have two relatives who are CONSTANTLY bringing things here. When I push back and tell them I don’t want anything else and flat out refuse to take it, they literally leave it on my porch.

    My children’s dressers and closets are overflowing. The toy room is leaking out into the hall. I have kitchen gadgets I’ll never use, and my husband has t-shirts he’ll never wear. All because one person in my family and one person in his family have shopping addictions and when their own houses were hoarded up, they turned the focus to us.

    It’s been years, and aside from getting into an all out war and refusing to speak to these people (or do something really childish like call them out on social media), all I can do is take the bags in, sort through them for something we might actually need at the time, and take the rest to Goodwill.

    My den is currently awash in Goodwill bags that need to go, so I guess I’ll get off the computer and go do that. Again. I just went 2 weeks ago. I literally get a large bag stuffed full of crap every week to week and a half. Last week, it was one of those giant, blue Ikea bags, instead of just a reusable grocery bag like usual. I’m dying. And getting sick of shifting crap from one room to another. UGH!

    • OH! I forgot to mention their number one weapon in getting me to keep the crap. They don’t give it to me, they give it directly to my children. And of course the kids aren’t gonna say no, even if it’s not something they’re thrilled with. This has also made my kids very expectant of gifts and “getting things.” Which is exactly how I’ve been raising them NOT to be.

      • This is hard. We have the same issue, but it doesn’t sound like we have it quite as badly as you do. I’ve been telling my children on repeat: Gifts are suggestions, and we don’t have to keep them. This applies to a great many things. Whether it’s the random bag of stuff someone drops off or insists we take, or a Birthday or Christmas. Also, trying to remind them that there is someone else who might actually “need” those things helps, but it’s not a perfect solution by any means. It just helps me to have a go-to phrase and not have to search for the right words or get drawn into a argument. Some folks say the “one thing in, one thing out” rule works for them, too. Also tough is when family members pass away and another family member insists you keep/store things until your children are older and will appreciate said items. Thanks, but none of my three boys is going to want china or porcelain figurines when they move out and I’m not going to burden their future spouses with it, either!

      • Hi, when this happens to me with the kids I say ok you can keep your new toy, jumper, pants whatever but

        you must then donate one to two old items or the new one can’t stay in the house. They usually then dash off eager to find a couple of things to get rid of.

        My mum often brings me bags of stuff she doesn’t want but can’t bear to get rid of or bargains she couldn’t resist so she thinks I should

        have them, the best thing to do is take the bags straight to the charity shop without even opening them!

    • I have the exact problem!! Some relatives get offended if I don’t take their stuff! I used to try to fight back and say I didn’t want it or need it because my husband and kids have a hoarding problem I’m already dealing with. Sometimes it’s just easier to just take the bag and immediately put it in your car and take it straight to the donation site.

  7. You have written all that has been on my mind! I’m a single mom of 5, my father lives with us and he is a self proclaimed hoarder! I hate the clutter, and trying to teach my kids to clean up when he won’t is next to impossible! I too am drowning and depressed. I’d give my left arm to run away from the clutter for just a while!

  8. Thank you for sharing this, I too am drowning in clutter and fighting it everyday! Got so many hopes and dreams for my lovely home!… Can’t wait for that “one day” when it all goes away.

  9. Melissa, thank you! You are not alone, and now I know that I am not alone either!
    Pam, those are awesome tips! I’m going to set a timer RIGHT NOW and get to work. Let’s see how much I can accomplish in 15 minutes (that makes this daunting task seem doable). Thank you!

  10. I want to help you. I was totally drowning in clutter and it was depressing…now I’m an organizing expert! I learned tips and tricks to make this mom thing easier. Id love to help you. I’M not a weirdo (well, not THAT kind of weirdo). Wanna Skype? I can help you, for reals!!! Email me.

  11. Oh. My. Goodness. I’m crying because this is me! Finally, a mom who knows, and doesn’t just try to make me fix it (in 5 easy steps no less)….thank you!

  12. First, Give yourself some grace. Your children are your priority and they grow up so fast. Second, try to maintain and not let the clutter get to overwhelming levels. Put something away when you’re done with it, set a timer for 15 minutes, put on some fun music and have everyone put things way. I shred or recycle my mail as I go through it. I put dirty dishes directly in the dishwasher instead of the sink or counters. I keep a donation box. When I run across something we no longer use or need, in the box it goes. When full, its donated.
    A house should be a home, filled with memories and gathers some ‘patina’ through the years. The clutter didn’t happen overnight and it won’t get cleaned overnight. Give yourself some grace…and some wine if needed 🙂

  13. […] I’m Drowning in Clutter and It’s Making Me Depressed | Perfection Pending by Melissa Sackett. It’s so incredibly hard to parent when you’re drowning. When you feel squished under the weight of all there is to do and all the stuff surrounding you, longing to be put in its place. […]

  14. Wow, just wow! You just nailed how I feel every day. And the part about keeping everyone else “above water”, while you are drowning – right there with you! I also had a mom that always had everything pulled together and perfect. I think it make it more difficult to live up to that expectation – and fail every time.

  15. I’m interested in simplicity. For example, don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Have a plan to retire. Here’s an idea – quit social media. Don’t blog. You don’t need to read about minimalism – just do it. Wash the dishes. You don’t work and you can’t keep your home clean? That is pretty weird.

    • Jim, I hate to have to spell it out for you, but when you’re chasing a toddler around all day and running kids to extra-curricular activities after school, grocery shopping, paying bills, cooking, laundry, cleaning, scheduling appointments, dealing with phone calls to companies to get the bills right (ex insurance coverage and constantly phoning companies to get your bill back down when it starts creeping up again), doctor/dentist appointments, pet appointments, getting bags/snacks ready for after school, cleaning out the car daily after kids have been in there, cutting the grass, house maintenance tasks when things break, sewing rips in shirts and buttons back on, oil changes, washing the car, assisting kids with homework, dealing with temper tantrums and discipline issues, providing entertainment and play dates, potty training, reading books to the younger ones and teaching them what they need to know, etc etc…you name it! That’s if everything is going well, and you don’t have sick kids or a random problem like fleas that have infested your house! It’s a lot for one person to deal with. People who have not done that job will never get it, but will be all full of ideas on how you should do it. That’s pretty “weird” that you didn’t realize that.

    • Obviously you don’t have any issues except for getting on other folk’s blogs and calling them weird… get a life and take your negative comments elsewhere!

    • Read the other comments, it’s not weird at all. What’s weird, well actually downright rude, is sitting there on ur judgemental high horse making unhelpful comments. Empathy is a thing, u should try it sometime. Better yet, take ur own advice and get off of social media/blogs/the internet and go live ur perfect life since u have it all figured out! Obviously it ain’t so great if u were reading this post in the first place and felt the need to comment and put her down to make yourself feel better. Smh

    • I agree. I think a lot of people spend too much time on the internet. Like these blogs. That has to take up a half hour or so a day. You can clean a lot in a half hour. It’s amazing how many women have blogs and websites, and it’s not a necessity.

      • Well Gus, women sharing their stories IS a necessity. We need more female voices to uplift, inspire, and encourage each other. Not to mention many of these blogs you read are making an income and there are smart, savvy business women behind them that are helping to contribute to society, and to their own families financially. There is no shame in that.

      • Dear Gus,
        Lots of men feel the need to comment on blogs. It’s amazing the number of apologies you could have sent to women you have disappointed sexually in the two minutes you took to comment. Speaking of two minutes…

      • But Gus, if women didn’t take time away from cleaning to write, be creative, or do anything to invest in their own personal growth and happiness, where would all the pathetic excuses for men go to cry about why it’s a waste of time? And while we’re on the subject; who’s worse, the creative person putting out content, actually trying to create something, or the talentless desk-monkey who’s reading it…yet complaining about how much of a waste of time it is….?? You do realize how dumb you are, correct?

        Well, if I haven’t made it clear by this point, you’re a sorry excuse for not only a man, but also for a human being…but mostly a man. So, why don’t you do us all a favor and crawl in a hole somewhere, and just stay there? Alrighty? Ok great, thanks!

      • Strangely enough Gus some women and men who are Stay at Home parents want to do more than clean up the home. They find it useful and even beneficial to seek creative outlets that don’t involve cooking and scrubbing toilets.

        I don’t know if you have children or tend to a home but it’s an endeavor that requires more than a half an hour.

    • Guess I’m the oddball woman here, because I agree with Jim. I work 20 hours a week, and spend the rest of my time at home with my son and school aged daughter, who participate in band and soccer (so we have after school extracurriculars). It is all in priorities. I don’t get online until the kids are in bed and I don’t do any tv watching during the day, unless I am done with my days chores. I do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry and kid-related stuff, as well as pay the bills and keep up with our bank accounts. Clean up after every meal, fold clothes when they are done drying and put them away. When kids are napping or playing vacuum, sweep, dust, clean a bathroom, something. Also, donate what you don’t want or need. You are the parent, if your kids have too much- get rid of stuff! We make biweekly trips to the goodwill bookstore, and we take a bag of donations every time.

  16. My girls are both now in college. This past summer I began my journey to declutter my home. There is hoarding in my genes (my mom is the tv show kind) and many years of accepting gifts and putting it in boxes or totes to deal with later have created piles and stacks that just seem to now blend into the surroundings. This summer, while off from teaching which took me down to two jobs, I made the conscious choice to start the decluttering journey. After reading many blogs/sites with suggestions; my plan was 15 minutes in each room every day. When the timer went off, I left the room, regardless of what I was in the middle of. I will be honest and some days were harder than others and there may have even been some tears but I would just make myself start over the next day. You would think with that with the boxes and bags of things that I took to Affordables, the library, the Humane Society, friends (girls clothes), the Art Museum, and my classroom that my task would be completed by now. NOT SO-my journey will most likely take a few years especially with items still being brought to me and college children moving in and out. Now that I am back in school and back to 3 jobs, my process has changed a bit…I attempt to do so many items in every room each day based upon the amount of clutter in that room. Even though I have a long way to go, I am proud to say besides weekly cleaning, my bathroom is totally decluttered. Two things that have stuck to is I make sure the dishes are done are every night before bed and I don’t leave the house without making the beds. It’s my little routines that have helped me feel accomplished each day. Best of Luck to everyone.

  17. You don’t have to do it all and be perfect. It’s not important.

    I would suggest getting your whole family involved. Those little ones can carry their own things and their own trash in from the car and put their own shoes away. Yes, it takes a lot of work to get them into the habit so you don’t have extra to do to teach and remind them, but they’ll get it eventually and it will free you up. Then you teach them the next thing.

  18. I felt this way for years! I have three kids and a chronic illness, and I was suffocated by the clutter around me. I recently read a book that changed my life. Seriously. It’s called Clutterfree With Kids, by Joshua Becker. Oh, my goodness, y’all. My house is now 80% done, and it looks like a different house. My whole family is so much happier, and I can actually keep my house in order. I’ve never been so glad I read a book, haha!

  19. I am single mom to two daughters. I work full time. I’m not like your mom but i’m just like you. I suspect every mom out there gets this post-clean house or not! I’m not a saver and I declutter quite often, but things seem to accumulate and I sitting here staring at all that accumulation that’s made its way to my living room right now. Planning to tackle it this weekend as soon as I manage to pull myself away from my computer! LOL!

  20. I’m that neat and tidy person, and my family was really messy growing up. It’s funny I think tidy is genetic like height, though maybe it skips a generation LOL. Schedule the lunch, do what makes you happy and be yourself. It took me a long time to accept I have to have a neat and tidy house to think, even though I don’t like to clean.

  21. I shall retire soon and come to the rescue if desired..first portland and seattle areas. Other areas if you can get me there and put me up in a closed room..blow up bed in an office is fine. And I won’t charge too much. I shall do laundry, sorting, wash dishes..get your space in good enough shape that you will be comfortable having people over or having a handyman/woman in or a professional housekeeper.

    The main thing is to not let new stuff in. You are in charge. Not your relatives. I’d have a big ongoing garage sale every week with all their stuff in it..or stop them at the car or meet them elsewhere and if they hand you a bag at mcdonald’s say I will not even look inside but take straight to goodwill. Do not allow them to give them to kids directly without your permission.

    Be ruthless with stuffed animals. Kids get too attached to them as they are anthropomorphic.

    Next thing is to get stuff gone. Have your kids pick out their five favorite t shirts and get the rest gone..in bins for future children perhaps but preferably gone gone.

    Life is too short to step on legos and barbie shoes. Have a big shop vac that they can not open. Tell them once and only once to pick up the legos or big vac will and do it. Do not ever make threats you will not do.

    Have a purgatory for clothes and toys left around. Give them one month to reclaim them with extra chores or get them gone unless they are priceless..in which case put them away.

    Take charge. You are in charge, not the kids. And your husband/wife is not a kid so you are not in charge of them without their permission. Train your kids from the age of 1 or 2 to pick things up and put them in a bin or whatever. Don’t pick up after kids unless they are special needs. Even then see if they can. The less stuff you have the happier the family will be, within reason of course.

    Life is also to short to save cardboard puzzles. Use them and pass them on.

  22. I think the words you have written describe so many of our lives! Thanks for sharing–I too grew up in an immaculate home…but the clutter has been my undoing for the past decade…there has to be a better way!

  23. Loved your post. I get that life is complicated and cluttered. My house sounds like yours–lived in but not filthy. I manage it while working a 50 hour week in a management/leadership role supervising creative staff (which takes a lot out of you). I do it with two kids, husband who helps (a bit) and cannot imagine the luxury of being a stay-a-home mom with full days at home with children. Surely, there is some down time (my mother managed it) when a pickup is possible. Don’t mean to sound like one of those women giving other women a hard time. But, really, it’s cleaning a house not negotiating world peace. And, oh, failed to mention I hire help who comes in once a week and gives the place a onceover. Forget the DIY.

  24. I think I love you! I think you might just BE me! I could not have described the way that I feel or the things that I do to sabotage my own efforts any better than you just have. Even though deep down I know we all struggle, it brings the biggest sigh of relief to hear someone else echo my exact thoughts/feelings. Your article actually brought tears to my eyes. I will read this to family entire family this very evening and reread it myself often. Thank you for validating the cycle of despair.
    Sincerely Stacey, stay-at-home mom of 4 ages 19, 17, 13 and 6

  25. Were you in my house today? It looks like some sort of clothing, Halloween, backpack, dirty dish bomb went off. I picked up my kids from school the other day and I was trying to figure out how I could get the staff member to stay far, far away from my car so she couldn’t see in it. I seriously just yelled out the window, “don’t look in the car!!!!!!”

  26. Thank you for this beautifully written, honest piece. You are a gifted writer and when you cut deep, many people can identify with you.

    Most of us have been there. I was there about 10 years ago, but as my children have grown, my health problems have been mostly resolved, and I’ve learned/practiced decluttering and cleaning routines, my home is so much better. I think you will get there, but you are in a hard season and you are brave to share that.

    One thing I’ve started to do is use the house as a barometer for our busyness. If the house is messy, we’re too busy. We’ve taken breaks from extracurricular activities for a semester and it’s great for the kids to pitch in and help. Chores & helping clean are just as good as sports for teamwork (being part of the family team), perseverance (finishing your job), and diligence (working hard cheerfully). I’m amazed at how when I give my kids jobs (whatever level they can handle) it really helps with their entitlement/my resentment & exhaustion. Could you have everyone sit out in the spring (Jan-May) and just take a family breath? (The book Simplicity Parenting is great if you need assurance that this is good for the kids.)

    Sometimes when I’m too tired to clean I do watch Cass’s videos (Clutterbug, posted above) on YouTube. She’s funny and motivating and I usually find myself cleaning something by the time I’m done! If not, it really does help me the next day because she makes it so doable.

    I’d encourage you—if Cass is offering to help you, take it!!! I’d love to have her come help me clean my house. ? Or get some systems, or whatever. If someone offers us struggling mamas free help, please take it. It can’t hurt, right?

  27. I totally loved this article! It’s like you are in my head and live in my house. I couldn’t have said it any better if I tried! I can relate on so many levels so glad to know I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing!!

  28. I’m a blogger, with a successful 60 hr week + design firm, a husband and 3 grown kids. No matter how organized you are, how late you stay up, how much help you have…each day is a different. Blogging is the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted and I applaud you for doing it with kids. We have not gotten negative comments yet and all I can say is I think the naysayers comments added to your point and made for some jovial reading. None of us gave them any creditbility at all. Keep being real!

  29. For my birthday this year, I asked my husband to hire me a professional organizer to help me declutter for two hours. I also asked for this again as a baby shower gift from a group of friends. It helped me so much! It’s hard to declutter on my own because I feel unmotivated and I have a hard time letting go of things. But it’s so much easier when there’s someone helping you.

  30. This is me in almost every way! Our house is small so clutter piles so easily! I wish I had an extra room I could just shove all the stuff I don’t know what to do with and that is just piling up, then I would close the door and pretend the room doesn’t exist and glory in my tidy house!
    So you’re not alone. Sometimes I get a surge of motivation and some alone time and I get some stuff put away but that is rare. Maybe I’ll just get a big box and start throwing stuff in it and put it in the attic. Ha, that would feel good. 🙂

  31. I could really identify with this article! Life is so busy and clutter piles up so easily. I’m one of those with a husband who is disorganized and keeps just about everything. But it’s not all him (or the kids) – I’m a packrat myself.

  32. Wow- this is SO my life from the mom who kept a spotless house to the minivan with junk falling out and even to the daughter with autism… are we living parallel lives here?? I too look around and all I see is clutter, all of which represents a million little failures in my mind. It sucks.
    And I am also lmao at the (men and) women who are critiquing saying they have two kids and hire a cleaner once a week therefore what’s your problem..?? Um, my life was a lot more in order and a heck of a lot easier until I had the third child and then my child with autism took a turn for the worst health and behavior wise. There was a lot more money to hire a cleaner before those two things happened too. So easy to sit on your high horse and judge when you have literally no clue what you’re talking about.
    Anyway thank you for putting yourself out there. I know there’s a lot of moms that can relate.

  33. Where is fairy godmother when you need her … wish the piles of clothes will somehow magically disappear into thin air ???? I am even thinking of moving homes but the thought of packing the mess terrifies me.

  34. I feel you 100%! Last night, while my younger 2 played and my oldest and husband were at hockey prac6,I FINALLY gathered the energy to get my downstairs picked up and vacuumed. I even got to that cobweb I’ve been looking at for MONTHS now. As nice as it is to come downstairs this morning to things being cleaned up, I took one look in to my office and felt anxious all over again. I didn’t get to that room yesterday. I also didn’t get to the laundry. Oh and I didn’t get to mopping the floors, that IMO, are gross. But I am trying to take it one step, one room, one chore at the time. Give myself grace. Those friends of yours with ‘perfect’ homes on social media are just a perfect spot for that one picture. Don’t judge yourself off of them. You do you. You do the best you can do. I struggle with this daily because I feel that it will not be my best unless everything is cleaned and tidy every minute of the day. But I have to not put so much pressure on myself. Because why? I am also slowly making changes so the mess isn’t so bad to begin with. Like getting rid of about 80% of my children’s toys, so that 99% of them stay in their rooms. It’s amazing how much easier picking up can be with less. And it’s even more amazing how my kids miss NOTHING that was taken away. When you go shopping, really think about what you NEED so you’re not bringing in unnecessary things in your home. And honestly, getting rid of stuff has helped me a ton. Stuff I know I don’t need and haven’t used ina while is such a freeing feeling. It takes time, but just going at it 1 room at the time, or 1 section of a room at the time is totally worth it. You got this mamma. We’re all in this life together.

  35. Lol, great read! I’m right there with you all. The clutter! It is out of control and I can’t get ahead of it. Plus it really is depressing. I invite nobody over because just thinking about finding places to hide the crap makes me want to have a slightly suspicious fire instead…. My mother is amazing, she worked full time, she was room mother for me and my two brothers our house was spotless, she had a garden, she canned everything plus she took care of my dads sister! Oml, reading this I’m feeling more failier than before…????

  36. I thank you for posting this article you wrote. I have never read another that I felt so deeply. Almost every single word, I felt you. I’m there. I was crying. You are definitely not alone!

  37. I have always wondered the same thing… it makes me feel like I am not a good Wife and Mom when the house is cluttered. I call my house clutter my elephant… because it becomes overwhelming very quickly and all I can do is procrastinate and fall in to depression. So instead of doing that never ending cycle I eat my elephant 1 bite at a time. Meaning I do a room or just the laundry, once completely I do the next room or the trash or dishes… but I make a priority check list and I work on it 1 bite (task) at a time. When you look at it as a whole you can feel defeated. Just remember He fights for you and you are not defeated. You Got This…

  38. Lady that’s life. I spent my youth giving her responsibilities to do as part of the family share. As the Amish does if you are big enough to bring those toys out clean them up if I have to point each one out to you and praised and treated my daughter with equal respect of the rest of the family and the Amish put you to work in the gardens as early as 4 years old. It’s your job mom to teach them you clean up and help with chores to earn going out with your friend or having Christmas and you have to give up so many toys before Christmas to get age appropriate toys and there has to be educational toys in there’. I work a military type jobs cooked cleaned and did girl scouts alone with church activities and did them with honorable family’s as I surrounded my child in. The condition you have is that you on taking on to much and not teaching the children their fare share of common courtesy among family church God are number one. Put value in your children and teach them how to carry out a real life that lyes before them.. Clean up your own you’d or lose them . Donate and clean old toys that are in good condition and donate them to daycares, churches, doctors,books to libraries and don’t forget homeless shelters and make your children shop for the gift of donating new toys after they have out grown their other toys and have them wtap them then take them to (with your children) and let them see another life you provide and what there is to be grateful for and make them work at accomplishing real life lessons. And then your children understand as to grow at age 10 my job now is to take trash out and dishes along with helping fold laundry. Give yourself a break take two weeks of and all of you make age appropriate duties out and have time for yourself as you give to them. I have a grown very loving daughter that owns this page Shanean each child has responsibiles and children with disabilities as how to teach and raise with responsibiles and they feel values. Good luck to you as you search for your own answers.

  39. Honestly after seeing how many people can relate to this I don’t feel so alone any more. I’m a single mom and I definitely feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Any free time I can get I try to just escape for a second….so I can regroup. Thank you everyone for giving me a little peace with myself. ?

  40. Definitely not alone. I hide the crap storm of toys into my storage units and try to forget about it but there is still more that I cant find space for. The thought of going through it all is suffocating. I don’t really have mum friends anyway but if I did I would be the same and doing the whole sorry for the mess while trying to find places to stash some of it. My mums house was immaculate and her place now is the same she doesn’t realise that I have 2 kids and a puppy running around and severe health issues I can’t turn my house into a show home no matter how much i try but at the same time living that way gives me severe anxiety i dont want to be moaning at my kids all the time I want them to grow up knowing that mess is ok but you still need to tidy up not that you have to live in some magazine perfect place and can never touch anything because it would be out of place. Hopefully we can all feel a little more at peace within whatever state our houses are in and maybe one day we will find the motivation to sort the mess.

  41. I absolutely relate!!!! Except the part at the end where you mention those mamas with the signs. “Don’t mind the mess, the kids are making memories!” The few friends I have had who actually own this sign have museum-like houses. I think their kids are making memories with Clorox wipes and the vacuum. Haha!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here