I’ve Cried More Times Than I Can Count

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I cried today.

I cried yesterday.

To be honest, I’ve cried more time than I can count on my fingers.

This is so tough.

Our lives were turned upside down in an instant, and like so many of you, I find myself awake in the middle of the night, wondering how long I can stay afloat.

In the wee hours of the morning, my mind races as I think of the day ahead. A baby, a first grader, work, school; somedays my anxiety is through the roof.

I worry about my family. I worry about my aging parents. I worry about job security, and I worry for others—those businesses that may never open back up, the friends who are suddenly out of work.

The days have turned into weeks, and soon to be months. Life has become a blur.

But somehow, we survive. It’s not pretty, but we manage to make it work.

As the days drag on, I’ve turned into a real-life Jekyll and Hyde.

One moment I’m hugging my daughter, the next I’m yelling at her in frustration because she hasn’t finished her school work.

One second I’m smiling and grateful for the family I have, the next I’m cursing under my breath.

One moment I’m staring at my baby, wondering how I created such a perfect soul. The next, I’m crying because she is inconsolable, and I am just So. Damn. Tired.

Some days I feel like I’m the best version of myself, other days I’m a version I don’t even recognize.

But you know what’s keeping me sane?

It’s knowing that I’m not alone.

The stress, the anger, the exhaustion, the roller coaster of emotions–it’s something we all are facing.

And that helps me sleep at night.

If I can get through this, so can you.

As I watch TV and cry at every new commercial, I know many of you are joining me with the box of Kleenex.

And as I regret the words flying out of my mouth at my children, I know that many of you have felt the same way.

There is so much uncertainty during this time in our lives, but we’re all in this together.

This too shall pass.

We will survive and come out of this stronger…with a few more gray hairs and wrinkles.

I cried today. I cried yesterday. To be honest, I’ve cried more time than I can count on my fingers.This is so…

Posted by Stacey Skrysak on Thursday, April 23, 2020

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Stacey Skrysak is a television news anchor and writer in Illinois, but her proudest role is becoming a mom after years of infertility. Stacey is mother to a 22-weeker surviving triplet and two children in Heaven. Even though two of her children were only alive for a short time, her triplets have touched thousands of people around the world. Through her blog, Stacey has become a voice for infertility, premature birth and child loss. These days, she sprinkles in the trials and tribulations of raising a daughter, who was once nicknamed “The Diva of the Nicu.”

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