We’re finally a two-vehicle household! Thank gawd! Since Pontilicious now works away from home, it’s been rough being stranded all day. This past weekend I finally got to drive the newest member of the family, a Chrysler 300.
PONTILICIOUS: Are you sure you can drive this?
ME: I’ve been driving for almost 25 years, I think I can handle this car. Plus it’s just an automatic. Any dummy can drive an automatic.
(backing out of parking space – get dangerously close to another car)
PONTILICIOUS: OMG! You’re driving this like you would the Hummer. You can’t turn like that.
ME: Sssshhh. I’m just getting a feel for it. Relax.
(driving down the road a few minutes later – hit a pothole, we all go flying upwards)
PONTILICIOUS: Are you kidding me? This isn’t the Hummer! You can’t hit every pothole you see, especially not the ones the size of the Grand Canyon.
ME: You’re exaggerating. That was more like the size of a small pond.
PONTILICIOUS: It doesn’t matter. This car was not built for offroading.
(slowing down at light – someone runs out in front of us)
ME: I suppose that was my fault, too, huh?
PONTILICIOUS: What the hell? He almost ran right into the side of the car! Roll down your window, please. I’m going to say something to him.
PONTILICIOUS: Fine. Caden, roll down your window?
ME: He can’t. I just put on the window locks. You are not yelling at someone while I’m driving.
PONTILICIOUS: Wow. Fine!
(took the turn into Wal-Mart a little too fast)
ME: I know! I know! I’m not driving the Hummer!
PONTILICIOUS: Actually, I was going to say, nice maneuvering. Now THAT you can do in this car. The Hummer would probably tip over.
ME: I’m never driving this thing again.
(big smile on HIS face)