Remember back in the day, pre-kids, when you’d hit up the club with your friends on Friday nights and dance until you shut it down? Yeah, me neither. It feels like a gazillion lifetimes ago.
Now my Friday nights consist of wrangling 3 kids to bed, curling up on the couch with Netflix & Kill (true crime documentaries for the win), eating string cheese, and falling asleep 5 minutes in.
Exciting, I know.
And while I wouldn’t trade my life now for anything, every once in a while it is nice to get a break. To get with my girls, and have a night out.
But girls’ night out post-20s just isn’t the same (even if in your head you feel like you should only be 25.)
Times, they are a’changing and whether you want to admit it or not, so are you. And a recent skit on Saturday Night Live proves it.
In a hilarious 3-minute and 9-second sketch, SNL nails what “Girls Night Out” looks like now, and it’s painfully accurate.
In the rap music video, Kim Kardashian West, Cecily Strong, Ego Nwodim, and Punkie Johnson head out to a club for the first time “since forever.”
As the camera pans in on the women waiting in line to get into Club Kori, glammed up in their sparkly best and sky-high stilettos, Strong expresses her doubt, saying:
“Guys, I don’t know about this. I haven’t been out to a club since forever.”
Kardashian reassures her:
“Oh come on, it’s going to be so much fun. We used to always do this.”
While Nwodim quickly reminds her:
“Yeah, in our 20s.”
As for Johnson? After looking after kids all day, every day, she’s ready to hit the dancefloor.
“Well, all I do is take care of these kids, okay. I need this.”
(Same girl, same.)
Kardashian doesn’t need any more prompting. She leads the way into the club, and the music starts popping.
The women open the rap telling all the “grown and sexy ladies” to stand up.
After all, they deserve one night out for themselves after doing all.the.things for everyone else. Hell yes, they do.
And if Kardashian has anything to say about it, “It’s gonna be a looooong night.”
Strong and Johnson sing about being “grown-ass boss women” who make their own money and run their households.
While Nwodim quips:
“I left my man at home and my kids are with the nanny. Dress so tight, all the haters can’t stand me.”
Meanwhile, Kardashian is living it up VIP style:
“I’m in the V.I.P. and the music is pumpin’. I get up on the couch and…”
This. This is what’s up on the couch. Or more accurately, down. And I’ve never felt more seen.
As the night wears on, Kardashian isn’t the only one to succumb to the grim reality of “Keeping Up With The Klub 20-somethings.”
Each one of the 4 women slowly falls victim to her aging body.
Because let’s face it, those Louboutins aren’t made for dancing.
And “Who needs a song to be this damn loud?”
Not a 30 or 40-something who has lived the last few years of her life listening to Paw Patrol and CoComelon on repeat, that’s who.
No, that mother needs to sit at a bar, drinking jello shots, and checking on traffic for the way home.
As for Strong? She’s busy desperately trying to convince herself that her body is still the invincible one of her youth.
“I’ve been taking care of my body. I can eat what I want and drink what I want…”
Except for dairy, apparently.
Eventually the “grown ass women in the club” admit they’re “prolly too old for the club,” pop some Ibuprofen, trade their jello shots for shots of Pepto-Bismol, and drop $500 on a pair of Club Kori employee’s comfortable shoes.
And even though Kardashian is finally ready to get the party started after two power naps…
…the skit ends with the women deciding to call it a night – at 9:01 pm. (Sounds about right.)
And moms everywhere can’t stop laughing. Because this is relatable AF.
Gone are the days of clubbing until 3 or 4 am. Now our 4 am looks like walking into walls not because we’re drunk, but because we’re exhausted. Blessed be the fruit.
But if we had a choice, we wouldn’t have it any other way. Okay, maybe for just ONE more night.
To view the clip in full, click the link below: