Sometimes Parenting Feels Like A Job, And Your Boss Is A Giant A**hole

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If you have never referred to your children using a curse word under your breath, we are obviously in very different places in our parenting journey.

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But for real, we were not properly prepared for parenting. Growing up, we envisioned something similar to “Full House”.

Instead, we’re met with something that looks more like the “Gremlins.”

One misstep and our children turn into tiny terrors, destroying everything in their wake. The other day, my six-year-old daughter threw four pairs of pants across the living room because they weren’t the right material. They’re savages, you guys.

Maybe in this day and age we have just become too soft. More concerned with hurting our children’s feelings than disciplining for smart mouths and broken rules.

I am sure we have all experienced something comparable in the workplace. We’ve felt underappreciated, overworked, and underpaid. You wake up on Monday and sincerely contemplate liquidating your assets and becoming a member of the nearest commune that lives off the land.

Now if you can say that you have never woken up to a screaming child, and been forced to close your eyes and pray to little baby Jesus not to lose your ever loving mind, you are a liar, my friend.

After what seems like night 784 of being woken up every hour for water, a scratch that appeared out of nowhere that now is unbearably painful at 2AM, or a bathroom break that can’t be taken alone, those mornings are rough y’all.

Our bodies go through irrevocable changes in childbearing.

Sleep, well I’m pretty sure sleep never happens again. More often than not we are met with fits thrown in the middle of Walmart and blood curdling screams over a sock that doesn’t feel the right way.

This must be exactly why we love watching our kids sleep so much.

It’s the only time they resemble the perfect, cuddly creatures we first laid eyes on.  Now I know that it is a child’s job to test the boundaries.

However, becoming parents does not change the fact that we can only be told NO so many times in a day without seeking some mommy time in a dark room while we rock back and forth.

Truly, I love my children with every fiber of my being. At the same time, there are some days I would do anything for a quiet morning with a hot cup of coffee and a good book.

There are some days, I wonder if I am cut out for this parenting thing.

Subsequently, something amazing happens. That crazy child who refuses to wear anything without sparkles or the color pink, looks up at you and explains how she fought with a friend at school over her mom being the best.

Or your four-year-old tells you not to come downstairs after nursing the baby because she is cleaning the kitchen. Mind you, there is water and soap EVEYRWHERE, but you tear up at how thoughtful such a tiny little person can be.

At times, parenting feels a little like the game, Pac-Man. No matter how fast you try to move, those tiny little blobs are always faster.

No matter where you try to hide, THEY. WILL. FIND. YOU. Sometimes, it’s ok to lock yourself in the pantry to steal a piece of chocolate and take a deep breath.

What we have to remember as parents, is that this too shall pass.

There is a reason we are so often told, parenting is the hardest job you’ll ever have.

We are responsible for teaching our future generation how to be kind when the world isn’t. Teaching them to stand up for what they believe in, even if it isn’t popular opinion.

Raising our children to follow their fire can be exhausting.

If you have children like mine, they will test you the moment a window is cracked half an inch.  Ultimately, isn’t that what we want?

To raise strong, capable human beings who are able to flourish when they go out into the world without our wings to shield them.

So, stay strong momma. Before you know it, those littles will prefer cell phones to following you into the bathroom. They will rather brood in their bedrooms alone than sneak into your bed in the middle of the night.

Hopefully one day, presuming we did something right, they will thank us for waking up every morning and trying again. 

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