Father’s Day is this weekend, and you know what that means — in addition to breakfast in bed and extra snuggles from the kiddos, the awesome dads in our lives are about to get a whole lot of random, funny, ultra-practical and/or borderline-offensive gifts from the people they love most.
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And, as always, the funny parents of Twitter are here to make fun of all of it.
Here is our list of the top 20 Father’s Day tweets:
1. Let’s be honest.
Get your dad what he really wants this Father’s Day by turning off the lights when you leave a room.
— Mike Primavera (@primawesome) June 18, 2015
2. This will make him happy.
For Father’s Day, I’m giving my dad a receipt proving I got my oil changed & a detailed description of the route we took to get to his house
— Brian Gaar (@briangaar) June 18, 2015
Father’s Day tip: forgot a gift? Drop him off at The Home Depot and let him play with all the other dads.
— luke [from online] (@internetluke) June 21, 2015
4. Well, maybe not every dad.
I cannot stress enough how much I don’t want anything from Home Depot for Father’s Day.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 5, 2018
5. We all know what it’s for.
I hope I get a chore list cleverly disguised as a Home Depot gift card again this Father’s Day.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) June 10, 2016
6. This would be a nice gift.
For Father’s Day, I’ll take my coffee black and hold the kids.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 18, 2017
7. And I’m sure he would gladly take you up on this.
For Father’s Day, my husband wanted a peaceful day with no whining… So he is going to work. #happyfathersday
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) June 19, 2016
8. Or a nap.
I don’t care what my kids get me for Father’s Day as long as it’s a hammock
— Qwerty Jones (@QwertyJones3) June 18, 2016
9. This actually would have been helpful.
It was wrong to write what I want for Father’s Day in my wife’s Mother’s Day card.
I know that now.
— TheAlexNevil, De Niro’s Speech Writer (@TheAlexNevil) May 14, 2017
10. So I could have avoided this.
I want Father’s Day to be over just so my wife will stop asking me what I want to for Father’s Day.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) June 16, 2017
11. I have lots of questions.
Dads, I need to know how badly you actually want those car floor mats for Father’s Day
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) June 8, 2018
12. And, possibly, secret motives.
Me: Happy Father’s Day, I got this for you.
Him: My old ladder..?
Me: Yeah, so I need you to finish that fuckin roof project you started.
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) June 11, 2016
13. Good call.
Just to be safe, I got my wife a gift for Father’s Day.
— Kent Graham (@KentWGraham) June 19, 2016
14. Better purchase those cards now!
Hope I can find a Father’s Day card at the store that makes reference to farts and/or watching sports!
— Will Phillips (@TheThryll) June 17, 2016
15. And hide those gifts.
I hid my husband’s Father’s Day gift where he’ll never find it…
In the laundry room.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) June 7, 2016
16. We want the day to be full of (hilarious) surprises.
Daddy, we know how much you like Scotch so we got you this for Father’s Day…
*hands me a jumbo pack of Scotch tape*
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) June 21, 2015
17. And competitions?
I want to put every dude with a “#1 Dad” mug into a stadium and let them fight to the death
— The Dad (@thedad) March 24, 2018
18. Don’t even think about getting out of this, dads!
Husband conveniently comes down with “stomach bug” on father’s day allowing him to lay in bed all day.
I’ve married a genius.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) June 15, 2014
19. The kids have big plans.
My kids woke me up on Father’s Day with breakfast in bed.
My 1-year-old hit me in the head with a maraca.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 18, 2017
20. And a few gifts they made just for
5: I made you an awesome Father’s Day gift.
5: when you die I’m going to take it back though.
5: Happy Father’s Day!
— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) June 15, 2017
Happy Father’s Day to all the ridiculously fantastic fathers in our lives. Thank you for all that you do!