The other day I was scrolling through the photos we took on our summer vacation and I started to have an existential crisis. Out of eleventy-billion pictures, I was in one of them. ONE. Even the dog garnered more screen time than I did.
If a mom doesn’t exist in photos or videos, does she even exist?? Was she ever even there?
This isn’t new. Generally, I am the one behind the camera. I like taking candid shots and videos of my kids and my husband, laughing and sharing precious moments.
My husband? Not so much. It just isn’t something he thinks to do. Bless him.
If I want my children to know they actually did have a mother, you know, the one who gave them LIFE, or if I want my husband to have pictures of the LOVE OF HIS LIFE to gaze lovingly upon, or if I just want people to know that, yes, in fact, I was here, I’m going to have to start taking matters into my own hands.
Which is exactly what this woman did.
In a series of hilarious, and quite frankly genius, TikTok videos @nancyneel14 films HERSELF so she has video proof of her existence.
Because her husband? Yeah, he isn’t doing it. (And OMG, this is relatable AF, and also, we love her.)
Describing herself as “Just a mom who loves to dance and do Alaskan adventures!” Nancy captures herself in ordinary, everyday moments but turns them into something extraordinary.
She captions the clips with:
“Making videos of myself so this could be played at my funeral because my husband never films me.”
As anyone who has attended a funeral or a celebration of life knows, there is almost always a video or photo montage memorializing the person living their best life. It highlights the moments in their life, big and small, that really reflect who they were.
But in order to have a photographic legacy, someone actually has to have taken the pictures.
And who needs a partner when you can just do it yourself?
Nancy’s first video has garnered over 12.8M views, 2M likes, and 21K comments.
But this isn’t your average mom video, you know the one, where your partner finally does take a video but you haven’t showered, your hair is piled up in a messy bun, you’re in your 3-day old shirt covered in spit-up and you look like you have triple chins.
Oh no, THIS is what Hollywood movies are made of.
The camera pans in on Nancy as she is watching tv. She turns to look and does a double-take when she “realizes” she’s on candid camera. She smiles, throws her head back, and laughs. She then shakes her head a little, coyly covers her face, and points to the television in the background.
And it’s all to the haunting sound of Erica Padilla’s Make It To Me Remix.
It is funeral-worthy perfection.
@nancyneel14 This trend cracks me up but it’s the trueeee ? #HowIBathAndBodyWorks #explorer #momsoftiktok #alaska
And people are here.for.it. Because honestly, we can all relate.
And if your significant other does film you? You can bet it doesn’t look like this.
Like, at all:
Luckily for this woman though, her daughter has her back.
However, we’re not all so lucky.
And even if you do get video footage of yourself in all of your amazing glory, there are still no guarantees:
But a girl can dream Apple User762993513, a girl can dream…
And apparently, Nancy isn’t the only genius among us.
There are others, like this woman who had her husband leave her a sweet voice mail, just in case, while he was sitting right beside her:
I mean, you just never know, I guess.
In response to requests for more videos, Nancy came up with a few more.
And someone give this woman an Emmy.
Part 2 is at the beach (because of course, it is):
@nancyneel14 Part 2 this is so cheesy! ? #HowIBathAndBodyWorks #explorer #momsoftiktok #alaska #sovintage
This one garnered Nancy’s favorite comment of all:
And also this, hahahahahahahahaha:
Then there’s the one where Nancy’s walking through the woods and “her husband” tenderly touches her face. ***Swoon***
Followed by “Part 4: with a kiss I love when “he catches me getting ready”.
@nancyneel14 Part 4 with a kiss I love when “he catches me getting ready” #HowIBathAndBodyWorks #TakeTheDayOffChallenge #explorer #momsoftiktok #notmytoktoktrend
She also captures herself looking for something in the fridge, admiring a rainbow (she loves rainbows), and driving in her car.
The series ends with Part 8 (although we’re really hoping she does more). In it, she is doing possibly the mom-est thing ever, yup, laundry.
You can check them all out on her TikTok account here.
As for Nancy’s husband, she wants everyone to know that contrary to popular belief, he does take videos of her. Just not very good ones.
While it’s all meant as good-humored fun it does shed light on reality.
We just want to be seen. We want people to know that we existed, even if in the grand scheme of things, it was only for a short while. We want to be known. Remembered. Loved.
So husbands and partners, take the damn photo. Take the videos. And if we tell you not to, please, for the love, do it anyway.