A brand-spanking New Year is upon us, folks, and many people have resolved that 2020 is their year to finally get fit! While that’s all well & good, the struggle for parents to find the time & energy to maintain a fitness routine is REAL.
The parents of Twitter know the challenge of trying to stay in shape while raising kids. Don’t feel guilty for not working out enough; get your cardio in by laughing at these funny tweets from parents who (aren’t) feeling the burn!
- Your New Year’s resolutions change once you’re a parent. Like, a LOT.
NY Goals before kids:
Eat better, exercise, spend more time w/friends, be open to opportunities.
After kids:
Keep them alive 1 more year— Meredith (@PerfectPending) December 29, 2016
2. After all, just raising kids can be draining- physically.
Listen. I’m raising kids. I think that makes me mentally strong. I shouldn’t be expected to exercise too.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 2, 2018
3. Now granted, there are methods of staying fit that are built right into our routines…
My resistance workout is just pushing a cart with a severe right swerve through the grocery store for an hour.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) January 24, 2018
4. Fact: Hiding food from your kids counts as cardio.
Working out when you're a parent is less actual exercise and more working out how to eat snacks without your kids seeing you.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 26, 2018
5. Another Fact: hiding FROM them counts as cardio, too.
Running from the house as soon as the sitter arrives is my cardio.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) May 16, 2018
6. But we want to be in better shape. I mean, kind of.
I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning but I also want to be happy
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) September 12, 2018
7. Those early-morning workouts are a killer, though.
I have nothing in common with people who like to get up early & exercise because “it’s a great way to start the day!”
That’s what coffee & a bed is for.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 25, 2018
8. While the intentions may be good the night before, the reality…. um, nope.
Me at 11pm: I'm going to eat healthy, exercise, achieve my goals, work on relationships, and chase my dreams.
Me when my alarm goes off: Bare minimum it is!— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 19, 2018
9. The constant dilemma: exercise or sleep? (We tired parents choose sleep. Every time.)
I want to diet and exercise but during my free time I like to nap and when I’m not napping I’m eating so you see how I’m losing this game.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 6, 2018
10. Running after kids all day IS exercise- so’s the yelling that goes along with the running.
Doctor: How often do you exercise?
Me: Are you kidding? I'm a mom. The only time I'm not exercising is when I'm asleep.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) April 29, 2017
11. But if you want to be healthy, it’s important to set goals. REALISTIC goals.
Friend: I made a resolution to cut sugar from my diet and workout for 1 hour a day 5 days a week.
Me: Cool. I decided to not eat between the hours of 11PM and 7AM.
— MyQuestionableLife (@2questionable) January 2, 2019
12. There’s tons of helpful fitness hints online. (And that’s where they usually stay!)
If I spent as much time working out as I do looking at exercise ideas on Pinterest, I'd be jacked.
— Marl (@Marlebean) July 18, 2017
13. And there are accessories that can help… IF you use them.
Just texted my daughter in the other room to bring me my Fitbit, which illustrates how well owning one is working out for me.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 20, 2017
14. They say “slow and steady wins the race”…
Fitness level: on day 576 of a 30-day ab challenge.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 3, 2017
15. But ideally, we wants results- FAST.
When you workout for 5 minutes and then wait to be skinny. pic.twitter.com/Z9E9C0ToFw
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) May 6, 2017
16. Sometimes working out can be a family affair. Not that it’s a good thing, but…
"Your stomach looks like an old man's face."
-How my kids motivate me & cheer me on when I'm working out.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) August 7, 2016
17. Sometimes fate conspires to keep us from our fitness goals (thank God!).
Fitness level update: I couldn't workout today because I hurt my shoulder sleeping.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 31, 2018
18. Persistence is the key. And we parents are nothing if not persistent!
"Why don't you eat right & exercise?"
I've been on this 'eat crap & lie completely still' kick for a while; I kinda wanna see it through.
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) October 12, 2017
So the moral of the story? We have no earthly idea, but hope you can stay on track at least through breakfast. And if not? Well, you’re certainly not alone.