I firmly believe that whoever said, “Girls are sugar and spice and everything nice,” never was actually raising girls. At least, not any girls I’ve ever met. I mean, of course they have their sweet, adorable moments, but they are also every bit as loud, relentless, and messy as their male counterparts.
Still, there are a unique set of challenges that come with raising girls — from the talking, talking, talking to the massive clumps of hair that perpetually clog the shower drains. (Say it with me, “Yuuuck!”) And OMG that hideous Pepto-Bismol pink color from which, I’ve discovered, there is no escaping.
The struggle is real, you guys. It really is.
Luckily, the parents of Twitter are keeping it real, as always, and helping us laugh at the craziness that is raising girls.
1. Did I mention the talking?
They say women speak 20,000 words a day but I have a 5 yo daughter who gets that shit done by breakfast.
— Joelle Wisler (@jowisler) October 4, 2016
2. It won’t be quiet for a looong time.
You know that thing where your daughter has been talking for so long that your eyeballs actually start to buzz & then you realize that she's only 3 years old & you're not really sure how you're ever going to make it until she becomes a teenager & stops talking to you altogether?
— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) January 17, 2018
3. I wonder who they get it from?
Daughter: *Screaming at her brother to stop screaming*
Me, with tears in my eyes: "She's just like me."
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 21, 2017
4. But we appreciate it.
1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store
— Sweatpants Cher ? (@House_Feminist) August 31, 2015
5. Or so we tell ourselves.
"I'm raising strong women. I'm raising strong women. I'm raising strong women…"
*My mantra for when my daughters challenge me.*
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) October 26, 2016
6. Because they command the room.
A 5-year-old stomped into a restaurant in a princess dress, held up her arms and shouted "I'M HERE." I just hired her to be my life coach.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) January 27, 2017
7. And are just so adorable about it.
No one is as confident in their life choices as a 4 yo in an Elsa dress at the grocery store.
— Joelle Wisler (@jowisler) August 16, 2016
8. Most of the time.
Can 5-year-olds be teenagers because mine's running around screaming wildly and crying for no reason so it feels like maybe they can?
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 4, 2017
9. We love how sentimental they are.
Please don't throw away this teeny tiny bit of garbage! It's so special.
-every little girl ever
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) April 7, 2017
10. Spending quality time with them is super fun.
Shopping with my teen daughter. If you need me, I'll be sitting right outside this dressing room, losing the will to live.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) May 29, 2017
11. But maybe not at the mall.
Every #girlmom is just one shopping trip at Justice away from losing her marbles. And if that doesn’t do her in, the egregious amounts of glitter will.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) January 29, 2018
12. Their jewelry is pretty cool.
Blessed with a daughter.
Cursed with earrings dumped on the carpet and IT'S A FATE WORSE THAN LEGOS.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 25, 2017
13. And how much fun is it to play with their hair?
It's summer & the windows are open so I have to yell "No one's being murdered! Just brushing my daughter's hair!" so no one calls the cops.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) July 26, 2016
14. But you need a PhD in braiding.
Other Moms- (daughter has elaborate French braided and food free hair) Oh that’s easy, it only took me a few minutes to do her hair like that.
Me- It took me a half hour to wrestle my daughter to hold still long enough to put in a ponytail. It’s already falling out.
— Why all these kids? (@whyallthesekids) January 7, 2018
15. This part is kind of gross though.
Having a wife and daughters means that at any given time 80% of your home’s interior is covered in stray hair ties.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 23, 2018
16. And where do all of the ponytail holders go?
Sugar and spice
and everything nice
AND WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO ALL MY PONYTAIL HOLDERS?
That's what little girls are made of.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) January 30, 2017
17. But in all seriousness, raising girls is awesome.
5-year-old daughter: Girls get tired earlier than boys.
5-year-old: We use our brains all day.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 2, 2016
18. Even if we get a few more eye rolls than we bargained for.
Mood swings and fights, and rolling their eyes twice, that's what tween girls are made of.
— Meredith (@PerfectPending) February 2, 2018
Lauren Lodder earned her BA from UC Berkeley and her MA from CSUF. Before becoming a freelance writer, she taught writing and literature classes at the college level. You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter. Her work has appeared on HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Babble, Buzzfeed, The Mighty, among others.