Making mom friends doesn’t have to be hard, but it will require some work on your part. Here are some ideas to help you find your unicorn mom friend.
Go to where other moms go
Join a mom’s group, go to the park, Chick-fila, your local play gym, hover around the Target $ bins, Starbucks on a Tuesday, the Urgent Care, Kohls when they’re giving out Kohl’s cash. If you want to meet other moms, you need to go where moms go.
Chat them up.
This may not seem like sage advice, but if you want mom friends YOU are going to have to talk to them. For many of us this is hard because we get anxiety and it’s like we’re back in high school again. But here’s the thing: we’re not. You’re in the real world now, and no one’s going to straight up be rude to you (okay, 9 times out of 10). Plus, even if you’re not the best conversationalist, you’ve got perfect material right in front of you. Your kids! Most of our experiences our universal, so one small quip about discovering your kids booger wall beside their bed and the ice is broken.
Be Real. Be You.
If you want real mom friends, you need to be the real mom that you are. So, if you’re the mom that only feeds her kids carrot sticks and organic apple juice, be that mom. If you’re the mom that always puts her kid’s shoes on the wrong feet and is wearing her husband’s socks because she didn’t do her own laundry yet (Hello!), be that mom. People are going to love you because you are who you really are, no matter who that is.
Unless you’re the judgy mom who judges other moms for not “momming it” like you. No one likes that mom. But, you will more likely find other moms just like you if you just present yourself as who you really are. But, the other cool thing is you will probably end up making friends with moms who are the complete opposite of you! Don’t shy away from that!! Some of my best mom friends are complete opposites of me and it’s helped me find a balance with my own parenting.
Don’t take it personal.
The truth is moms tend to hang out with other moms just like them. There I said it. Not always…but a lot of times you will find that moms who have similar family dynamics end up being friends because of well…convenience and familiarity. A lot of times this is because their kids are at the same age or stage of life and it just makes get-togethers easier. So, don’t take it personal if no one in your wants to hang out with you and your ten-year-old. There’s a mom out there with a tween herself who is dying to take her kid to the new rock climbing center that just opened up, and would love to have a friend to chat with as her kid scales the wall. Look out for that friend.
Lower your expectations.
Look. We’re all moms here. We’re busy. We’re tired. We’ve got a lot on our plates. Literally. Like we make three meals a day. Do we ever even leave the kitchen??!! So, don’t expect to find this perfect mom friend on a unicorn like she’s some princess charming. Don’t over analyze everything she says and does and what not. Just be a friend and you’ll make a friend. She’ll probably end up disappointing you if you expect her to fulfill all your friendship dreams and needs. She may not be a big talker like you, so what? She may pronounce tornado with a short “a” instead of a long “a”, so what? Instead of looking at all the things she’s not, focus on what she is. Does she show up? Does she make really awesome cupcakes? Does she love your kids? Is she always down for Taco Tuesday? Does she make an effort? Okay, be happy with that.
Sometimes you will find a unicorn friend.
Sometimes…out of the blue…you will find a unicorn mom friend. She will be you in different clothes. You’ll be exactly what each other needs at that moment. She will laugh at all your jokes and be down for whatever. Hold on to her and cherish every minute!! And consider yourself very lucky.
This post originally appeared on Sherry White’s Facebook Page.
Sherry White writes about the messiness of life, parenting, and faith at her blog The Messy Christian. She adds her own brand of humor and insight into everyday issues we all face, reminding us that even though we find ourselves in countless messes, God’s grace lights the way. She would be thrilled if you follower her on Facebook and Instagram.