With Father’s Day soon approaching, it can be challenging to find the perfect gift to celebrate the man in your life, right? Thanks to some clever innovation, we’ve finally found the perfect gift- for some guys out there, anyway.
If you’re struggling to find a gift for the guy who has everything… well, chances are he doesn’t have THESE.
But in fairness, perhaps we shouldn’t limit the target audience to just dudes, since this is a product that could be helpful to anyone. Ok, not everyone, but for some, you need these. And you know who you are.
The company Flat-D Innovations has created a charcoal flatulence deodorizer pad that “neutralizes” the odor of bodily gas.
Yes, these really do exist. If you live with a frequent flatulator, then you know just how handy these little miracle pads might be!
Let’s face it; although flatulence is simply a part of life, some people have… too much “life”. Way, way too much. If you’ve ever been innocently going about your business in public, only to be unexpectedly enveloped in the noxious raw-sewage odor of someone’s fart, then you know the pain & suffering that can result.
Hop aboard a tiny elevator with a group of people– if one person in there decides to drop an odoriferous butt-bomb, you’ll fervently wish you’d taken the stairs.
All it takes is a single burrito consumed prior to a long road trip- before you know it, you’re sliding the window down, pitching your head out the window and frantically gasping any fresh air you can suck down to counteract the poison-bean-fumes that are threatening your nasal passages (and your dignity).
Or how about when you’re lying in bed, about to drift off to sleep, when suddenly it hits.
Your nose is violently assaulted; tears spring to your eyes as your senses try in vain to ward off the sudden garlic-infused stink egg that your sleeping partner has unknowingly released, destroying the sanctity of your once happy place.
(And if you’ve never been the victim in the scenarios described above, chances are- you’re the perpetrator.)
And just how does this miracle product work, you ask?
According to the product description on Flat-D’s website, you simply peel the sticker off the pad and attach it to your underwear with the double-sided tape. The pad forms a seal between itself and your buttocks, and the gas then is deposited directly through the pad, which filters away any residual odor.
They even provide a video tutorial for assistance- watch the magic in action!
The description also explains that:
When you fart or expel gas into the flatulence filter pad, the charcoal inside absorbs the gas, including all the bad smells associating with flatulence.
That poor, poor charcoal…
But this isn’t your common, barbeque-grade charcoal we’re talking about. To handle this level of odor, Flat-D Innovations has brought in the BIG guns:
The material we use is a high-tech filtering media (16) and was originally developed by the British Chemical Defense Establishment, to provide protection to its soldiers against nerve gas and other toxic vapors associated with chemical warfare.
Basically, the components that were used to ward off nerve gas in wartime -literal poison to the human body- are precisely what were required to seal off the overpowering odor of human flatulence.
But if you’ve ever been the victim of someone’s “silent but deadly” fart, then you know it’s chemical warfare indeed.
The pads are lightweight and discreet in order to avoid detection by others. They are also washable, although the company makes disposable pads as well.
And good thing, too, because although the wearing of these pads might help many marriages, the washing of your spouse’s used fart-filled pads definitely exceeds the “for better or for worse” aspect of the marriage vows…
Treat the fathers in your life with the gift that keeps on giving- giving clean air to those around him, that is.
While farting in the bed can adversely affect your love life, watching your spouse scrub his or her used fart-filter in the bathroom sink is a “silent but deadly” romance-killer, too.