Finding the right person to settle down with and share your life can be difficult. Many people spend years finding the right one. Unfortunately many people also commit to a relationship which becomes negative and detrimental over time. These people are often not aware that this is happening to them and will not seek relationship advice or relationship counseling. It is often seen in cases of domestic abuse. Fortunately, it is possible for anyone to identify a bad relationship; if your relationship has the following nine symptoms it is time to end it and move on:
If your partner seems constantly edgy and liable to explode at a moment’s notice then they have an issue with building a normal, healthy relationship. In turn, it is likely that you will not be able to voice your own opinion for fear of setting off his hair trigger.
A partner which constantly puts you down, especially in public is not seeing you as an equal and does not respect you as a person. This could actually be a sign that they have a personality disorder. Whatever the cause, it is not something that should happen in a healthy relationship.
It may seem that your partner is trying to avoid you but, if you question them about it they will react badly and accuse you of being needy. This will probably leave you feeling confused and unsure of yourself and your own instincts. Nobody likes to be in a relationship and feel unsure or insecure; this creates discomfort, not to mention that with time the bond will inevitably fall apart.
Lack of communication
Communication and intimacy in a relationship are essential to building a good foundation and a relationship which will last for a lifetime. Part of this communication is the openness and willingness to change and adapt for the good of the relationship. This should be something that both parties want as they are both committed to a common future. If your partner is unwilling to change or even consider your needs they are not committed to you or a joint future. Relationship counseling is an option although it is unlikely to recreate the intimacy in your relationship.
Any partner who resorts to name calling or constantly dredging up past events is not yet mature enough to commit to a real, respecting relationship. The fact that they are attempting to hurt you with words shows that they have no real intimacy with you. Women in particular, shouldn’t allow their partner to speak negatively about them. It’s ok to get angry every now and then, but that doesn’t mean that you should allow your partner to insult you.
A common issue of people in a bad relationship is that they do not feel free to be themselves. You may feel that you need to agree with your partner, even if it changes your fundamental opinion on a subject. This usually occurs as you feel this is safer than disagreeing and incurring their wrath. Why should you hide your true self when you should let them get to know the real you?
A partner who attempts to make you feel guilty in order to get their own way is not one that has the best interests of you or the relationship at heart. The standard approach to this is to remind you of how much they have done for you lately and that they are only asking for one little favor. In effect, anything they do for you will come with a condition; this is not a good sign for your relationship.
Overbearing and possessive
If your partner attempts to make all your decisions for you and control what you do they are not seeing you as a person but as their possession. You will never be seen as more than this and you deserve so much more!
Your family does not approve
If you feel the need to keep your partner away from your friends and family as much as possible, you must ask yourself why. If this is because your friends and family do not like your new partner it could be a good sign that they are not good for you. This is especially true if none of your friends and family like them.
Ending a bad relationship is never easy, but you must find the strength to do it; you can then find true happiness. At first it will be difficult, and your heart will be broken into pieces. But it is the right thing to do. You deserve to be happy and you won’t be able to do it in a toxic relationship. Think about yourself and choose your partner wisely. A good person will never try to change you; he will accept you just the way you are.
Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples in therapy. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is currently associated with Marriage.com, a reliable resource assisting millions of couples to resolve their marital issues. She holds a Master’s Degree in Arts (Clinical Psychology with an Emphasis in Marriage and Family Therapy).