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Julie Burton

Mom - Wife - Humor writer. Don't laugh.

11 Triggers That Will For Sure Make Mom Lose Her Shit This Summer

They say you only have 18 summers with your kids. But, did they mention the summertime triggers that will for sure make mom lose her...

To The Low-Lifes That Know My Vacation dates And Plan To Rob My House

They say you should never announce when you’re on vacation on social media because you’re making it easier for intruders to enter your home...

The First Bikini Wax Is The Worst

I was not planning on writing about my first bikini wax. But ladies - What the hell is wrong with you?! Or maybe I should be...
Did you know that women can get the man cold too? It's true. And here are my dying wishes. #mancold #humor #funny

I Have The Man Cold And Here Are My Dying Wishes

I have a debilitating disease. It’s internal bleeding. No, it’s the return of the bubonic plague. No, it’s the Zika virus. Right here, in the middle...

Parenting Middle Schoolers Feels Like The Seventh Circle Of Hell

  Welcome to the dark side of raising middle schoolers. If you are a toddler parent, you’re reading the wrong article. If you want to argue...
Raising teenagers is hard work, and it's not always easy to give them advice when you're the mom. But, what about some life advice every teen needs to hear from someone OTHER than their parents? This is so spot on! #parenting #filterfreeparents #teens #teenagers #highschool #adviceforteens #raisingteens

Real Advice For Teenagers From Someone Who’s Not Your Mom

Parents have 18 years to teach you how to survive on your own, teenagers. By now, you should be able to speak, walk, use...

Tis The Season When Women Get Shit Done

"3 - 2- 1!" Sparkles. Christmas sparkles. With a flip of a switch, a 100-foot Douglas fir Mayor's Christmas tree turns darkness into light. We took...

My husband is well endowed

My husband is well endowed. I know that’s not anyone’s business but it is a piece of information you need to know before you continue...

Hey Parents, It’s OK To Just Say No To Your Kids

“Just Say No.” You probably remember the saying from the 1980s and early 1990s. And due to your age, you’re mostly likely a parent by...

10 Reasons My Husband is the Best Dad Ever

Men don't know what it feels like to have a baby kick a full bladder. They don’t really know the top level of the unofficial...