Dear Myka – Like You, I Ordered A Fourth Child That Never Arrived


Dear Myka,

We don’t know each other, but we have a lot in common. We are both bloggers and have sons with autism.

Or rather, had.

The adoption of your son Huxley was a focal point of your vlog and for the past two years, you’ve painted a picture of harmony.

Two days ago, you announced that you had “re-homed” your four year old son, one of five children.

You said,

“There’s not a minute we didn’t try our hardest. After multiple assessments and evaluations, numerous medical professionals felt that he needed a different fit for his medical needs. He needed more.”

I don’t know much about adoption, but I know a helluva lot about more.

My fourth child, Amos, is six and it has not been an easy road and even though I always feel like he needs “more,” there has been so much joy.

It seemed like you felt the same when you shared posts with words like…

…I love this big crazy family! Wouldn’t change a thing about it!

…Thank you so much for trusting me to be your mama! I am so lucky to call you my son.

….If anything, my child is not returnable.

But, you DID return him.

Two years after you asked followers to send you $5 for his adoption, you’ve thrown in the towel because you didn’t get the child you ordered.

Your husband stated, “When Huxley came home, there were a lot more special needs that we weren’t aware of.”

Welcome to real life.

Like you, I ordered a fourth child that never arrived.

Not from China maybe, but I expected a little boy who would race to keep up with his siblings. Instead, I found myself at the hospital for a dozen weekly therapies and coming to terms with autism.

You said a few months ago- “Motherhood is not always easy. Sometimes it’s hard, unpredictable and messy.”

I wish you had embraced the unpredictable as a gift.
I wish you had not traded in your four year old son like a naughty puppy.
I wish you had believed in yourself.

“I didn’t adopt a little boy to share his struggles,” you said in your recent video, adding, “The reason I started my channel was to be positive.”

What? Did he and autism just not fit in your “brand?”

I won’t pretend to know your heart, but please tell me- if your infant son is diagnosed with autism, will you give him away, too?

Dear Myka,We don’t know each other, but we have a lot in common. We are both bloggers and have sons with autism.Or…

Posted by Tales of an Educated Debutante on Thursday, May 28, 2020


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