As much as mainstream media and mommy meetups like to poke fun at lazy husbands and half-hearted dads who don’t help around the house and are just as surprised as the kids when they open gifts on Christmas morning, we have some hard truths to face.
1. Not all men fit this stereotype.
2. No one is perfect.
3. We’re crazy, too. I mean, have you MET any women!?
I’ve been married for 10 years and together with my husband for what feels like no less than eleventy-five. He is the bee’s knees in most ways, but he’s got his stuff, y’all.
He has literally never packed his own bag to travel and, hand to God, even if I send a picture and tell him what color cap to look for, he will 100% of the time come home with the wrong thing if I send him to the store for milk. Ev.Er.Y.Time.
But he also fixes all the things, does yard work, and handles most of the dishes and toilet cleaning because he knows that those are the two chores I hate the most.
We’ve been parents for over eight of our ten married years together and, of our two wild and feral children, one has five mental health diagnoses.
That means that our parenting journey is a hard-hats required situation. It isn’t for the faint of heart.
Like me, my husband tends to be a yeller. He can be short-tempered and sarcastic at wildly inappropriate times, especially for our son who’s thinking is undeniably concrete.
But he also reads bedtime stories and plays beauty shop, teaches adventure activities and isn’t afraid to let our kids fail.
My anxiety holds me back in just about every way and parenting isn’t immune to that reality. Having a husband who is a risk-taker and go-with-the-flow temperament makes me insane…but it also balances out my brand of crazy.
So I will laugh picking up his smelly socks that are literally touching the hamper later because today he sat patiently as our toddler braided his hair after he had braided hers.
He took WAY longer than I would have and it was messy–it wasn’t perfect–but it was exactly right for her.
It is in these moments over the simplest of times that I’m reminded that for all of the harsh or hard, messy or immovable parts of a person, there is always so much more.
If you have a husband who is willing to wrestle or play dress up, have tea parties or play action figures, hang onto him and remind him that–no matter how he may doubt himself–you see him and you know he is doing the very best he can.
And that’s pretty incredible.