The mainstream media is inundating us with non-stop coronavirus coverage 24/7. And while it’s important to stay in the know, so to speak, it can also be a tad bit… overwhelming*
(*hysteria-invoking. *terrifying. *depressing AF.)
So many of us turn to social media in order to stay connected to human beings (those that aren’t already living on top of us) during this odd phase of quarantining. While social media outlets like Facebook can be a hilariously fun distraction from our current world craziness, the personalities on there can also be very, well… predictable.
Tiffany Jenkin’s newest viral video hilariously depicts the stereotypical coronavirus posts that are popping up on every.single.person’s Facebook timeline right now.
Tiffany Jenkins of Juggling The Jenkins has previously created several funny videos poking fun at Facebook, but her most recent clip nails exactly what most of our feeds are dishing out these days.
The clip opens with Tiffany as Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg, aka, “Zuck”. Zuck instructs his Facebook timeline team on the types of posts that users should be seeing.
Zucks reminds his crack squad of their aim:
Remember, the goal is to make everyone feel as confused and frightened as possible.
First up is the doctor; she explains that the intent of her posts will be to provide the public with the FACTS, through the use of sound scientific data. Her posts will feature:
graphs, & charts- lots of lines, so that people get a full grasp of how serious this is.
So a medical professional will be offering an objective, science-based account of the coronavirus statistics. That sounds logical… but we all know that logic has no place on Facebook.
And based on the reactions of her colleagues, it’s obvious that her science is, according to Zucks:
And based on her visual response to the doctor’s announcement, the “conspiracy theorist” agrees with Zucks:
(Did I immediately get a jolt of excitement when the conspiracy chick appeared? YES. Yes I did, because I can’t wait to hear what she’s got coming. We all have at least one of these people on our timelines. And while I won’t name names, sister…. you know who you are.)
Forget the facts- Zucks is looking for confusion and fear.
So it’s fitting that the conspiracy theorist is next to speak, and she, for one, is planning on:
Telling people the TRUTH.
Oh, sweet Jaysus, I can’t WAIT to hear what her truth is. I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t WAI-
The government is keeping us all locked in our houses so they can build all those 5G towers..
…and change out the batteries on those robotic government birds.
Well, alrighty! As someone who grew up in Internet’s heyday (turning on a 56K modem & taking a nap while waiting for it to connect), I can confidently say that even if this were the case, I’m willing to risk it all for instant internet gratification.
(Oh, the agony of waiting over 2 hours for Napster to download your favorite song, only to have the internet connection break when it was 97% loaded. You young kids don’t even KNOW!)
As far as the “robotic birds”, all I can say is the birds around my house start their damn chirping around 5am & can go all.day.long, so their batteries seem just fine to me, gov.
We’re got the fear factor, but Zukerberg wants to be sure there’s some confusion thrown in there for good measure, too.
And he’s got a surefire winner, in the form of the interruption from the Tiger King folks:
I’m just gonna say it: none of this would even be happening, if it wasn’t for Carol FRIGGING Baskin.
I don’t know how Tiger King became the official sponsor of the quarantine, but it’s safe to say that most of America:
1.) has watched the entire series.
2.) is positive that Carol Baskin killed her husband and/or fed him to the tigers.
3.) is weirdly obsessed with both Joe Exotic’s penchant for snaring supposedly straight men… and his mullet.
Facebook is definitely clogged with tons of Tiger King memes and posts, and KEEP THEM COMING, ZUCKS, because they are the gift that keeps on giving.
Next up is a solid dose of religious zeal (and terror):
What’s really going on…. Jesus is on his way back, ok???
Zukerberg’s reaction: a delighted cackle of glee, because nothing gets people more stirred up on Facebook than a good old religion debate!
She’s followed by an old Facebook standard: the essential oil friend. (We’ve all got one. If you don’t, you probably ARE her.)
I think the answer here is simple…
the power of essential oils knows no bounds.
And of course there’s the fitness friend:
Hey guys, I’m about to go live to do a workout! Want to join?
That’s a no from me, Beachbody queen. And it’s likely a no from the rest of America’s Tiger King-watching, cheese puff-chomping ranks.
The squad then begins to squabble amongst themselves, discussing the essential questions:
Are we still doing Easter? Who’s selling toilet paper? The sinners are causing all of this, you know. Guess how many brooms are in this picture, y’all!
Zuckerberg’s Facebook goal is accomplished; his team will clearly stir up a potent mix of fear, confusion, & distraction, with a hefty dose of “WTF is going on?!” thrown in.
In Zuck’s own words:
I think we’re in a really good place right now. Between all of us, I think we could really make people FREAK OUT.
Confusion, arguments, panic, depression, anxiety… I love it!
Tiffany’s depiction of today’s Facebook is spot-on, which is why her video has already earned over 70K likes and 54K shares.
In addition to the humor, Tiffany provides her fans with a powerful message. Her video closes with an important reminder:
With everything feeling uncertain, many of us turn to social media for information & assurance. It can be a double-edged sword, often fueling stress & anxiety.
Take EVERYTHING you see on social media with a grain of salt- we’re all unsure of how to navigate this odd time, but humor certainly helps!