For those of us that grew up in the 80s, the world of the paranormal wasn’t a mysterious phenomenon- it was entertainment. We had Ghostbusters, scores of bloody horror films, and of course, Poltergeist. While I don’t know about the rest of my Poltergeist veterans, I now have lifelong trust issues with trees, clown dolls, and walk-in closets. Thanks, Steven Spielberg!
As an adult, I assumed that my fear of ghostly things would subside… and I was wrong.
When my kids tell me that they are scared of ghosts as I tuck them in at bedtime, I confidently assure them that they are perfectly safe: “Don’t be scared; there’s no such thing as ghosts! G’night, sweethearts!”
(Also me: *still sprints up my basement stairs in the dark, because GHOSTS.*)
The paranormal is a realm that many of us try to steer clear of- until it appears in your bedroom at 2am, as was the case for one poor woman who lived to tell her tale of terror.
One mom’s hilariously Facebook post has gone viral after her eerie brush with the paranormal turns out to be less “para” and more “normal” for parents of young children.
Mom Angela Kelsay was awakened in the middle of the night by the creaking of her bedroom door. Expecting it to be the arrival of her two-year-old son, Lennox, she was understandably perturbed to instead see:
in the doorway was a set of terrifying glowing eyes and mouth. It wasn’t a random light and it was hovering only a foot or so above the ground.
In case Angela’s description of the demon isn’t creepy enough, here’s an actual picture of the terrifying sight:
Oh, HELL NO!!! I’m not sure what I would have done in this moment, but I suspect that it would have involved high-pitched screaming, a copious amount of profanity, and an involuntary release of all bodily fluids.
Angela described how the “thing” drifted a few feet closer, without making a sound.
NOPE. Not today, Satan. Or tonight, either. Not EVER, preferably, please and thank you. Amen.
That’s when Angela called on the Lord, because when you’re dealing with a glowing, grinning demon in the middle of the night, you need to call in some heavenly reinforcements.
Angela admitted that despite her lack of consistent contact with the Man Upstairs, she was hoping He could do her a solid by sending this demon back to hell where it belonged:
Now, my relationship with the Big Guy isn’t real consistent…. I’m like that friend who only calls when they need to borrow money. But I needed Him NOW.
While she asked God to throw a little “white light” around.
I thought “Lord, it’s Angela. If you’ve got any of that white light laying around would you mind sprinkling some around my bed?
(I love that she identified herself by name, just in case God didn’t know who was calling.)
Angela’s cries of desperation didn’t seem to work, however; the demon advanced even closer.
(Kudos to Angela for surviving up to this point; if it were me, I’d already be face to face with the good Lord, compliments of the massive heart attack I’d have upon viewing this nocturnal nightmare.)
“Alright, LORD! The white light ain’t gonna do it.
Who you gonna call? GHOSTBUSTERS. Or in Angela’s case, maybe one of God’s biggest guns: Archangel Michael himself. Angela implored God to send Angel Mike on over:
tell him to get to Walnut Street stat! There is some real life demon slaying that needs done and you gotta call in the big guns.”
No white light appeared. In the words of the late great Michael Jackson, “this is thriller, thriller night. And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike.”
(You’ll now be singing “Thriller” in your head all night. You’re welcome.)
But back to Angela’s plight:
The demon grew closer and I knew the Lord had forsaken me.
Angela was on her own. But she wasn’t going to go down fighting, folks. She had a PLAN:
I was weighing out if throat chops work on demons when suddenly it whispered… “Mommy?”
What the WHAT?! A baby demon? Are baby demons a thing??
The “demon” was none other than Angela’s young son, Lennox. And the sinister glowing grin was actually his glow-in-the-dark Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sleepwear.
Now granted, the reality that the demon was not, in fact, an actual demon was obviously a huge relief to Angela. But her brush with the paranormal drove home some gritty truths about herself:
1) My baby has a future as a ninja because he was absolutely soundless.
How do they DO that?? Toddlers who seem to have broken volume controls by day manage to be stealthy & silent when creeping around at night.
Case in point: my toddler son once broke into a jar of peanut butter one night, smearing it into every crack & crevice of his body before waking me up. I was jolted awake, screaming, by a tiny apparition at my bedside that reeked of peanuts. Toddlers can be unintentionally creepy at night. Especially the peanut-scented ones.
2) I nearly throat chopped my two-year-old.
…can you blame Angela, really? Look at those eyes. Those EYES!
3) If I’m going to expect quick service from Michael the Archangel I’m going to have to stop being Jesus’s “call you when I need money” friend.
Although this episode turned out to be more of a friendly, non-demonic visitation, Angela now realizes that it can’t hurt to have some clout with the Man Upstairs, just in case she needs some speedy “white light” assistance in the future.
Or she could call on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, who work the night shift, apparently…
(For more of Angela’s hilarity, you can check out her Facebook page, Midwest Mama: Basketballs, Bows, and Boogers.)
I don't do scary movies… I watched Paranormal Activity about 5 years ago and still have demon-related PTSD. In the…