NSFW Whale Pics Go Viral on FB And The Comments Are Pure Comedy Gold

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Whale-watching tours are a popular activity on people’s bucket lists. People spend upwards of $100 or more to get up close and personal with the creatures in their natural habitat.

And for one “lucky” group of whale watchers in Monterey Bay, California they got a whole lot more personal than they bargained for.

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Pictures of a killer whale taken during a recent whale tour are going viral on Facebook, but not because of the size of the whale.

Noooooooo…

Also, cold water shrinkage is obviously NOT a problem.

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The owner-operated whale-watching tour company, Blue Ocean Whale Watch, which shared the photos, promises “a more intimate experience” and we gotta say, based on these pictures they definitely deliver.

The company captioned their post:

“Killer whale “Orion” from the CA51 pod letting it all hang out on today’s 9:00am trip!

The pod stayed in the bay for most of the day but were on their way out by the late afternoon. They feasted on several sea lions.

#getonaboat”

And when they say, Orion “let it all hang out,” they weren’t kidding. Orion was on FULL DISPLAY and clearly having “a whale of a time.”

***Warning: These pictures are for “mature” audiences only.

Oh myyyyyyy….

Killer whale “Orion” from the CA51 pod
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

Hey Willy, how about some dinner and drinks first??

The post has gone viral and amassed over 20K reactions, and 26K shares thanks in large part to Orion’s mass.

As for the comments? There’s a whopping 33K because naturally, people just couldn’t help themselves (ya’ll are dirty, dirty birds.)

Free Willy did nothing to prepare us for this. NOTHING.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

None of us grew up with this. But clearly, something grew. Orion’s willy, that’s what. And people just can’t look away.

There were the obvious comments about size. (And yes, it matters).

Not that I’m an expert on orca penises, but I would hazard a guess that Orion’s specimen is one of the more exceptional specimens of his species. 

There’s no compensating for this dude.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

Or, as Ginger Jamie says, betcha he gets all the H2Hoes.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

And just in case you need a little something to compare it to, to really get a sense of scale, here’s a visual to help you out.

(FYI: Shaquille O’Neal is 7’1″). 

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

If you’ve got it…flaunt it. FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch

He’s definitely flaunting it.

Orion to Tommy Lee, “Hold my beer.”

Killer whale “Orion” from the CA51 pod
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

But it wasn’t just the size that got people talking. People had questions.

Sciency questions like, what type of whale is he? (We know, he’s a dolphin and not a whale but HUMPback suits him, no?):

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

And basic dolphin anatomy…you know, stuff like that.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch
FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

“In other news, a shipping container full of Viagra is missing nearby.”

The questions just kept coming & coming…

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

Inquiring minds want to know. On second thought, no, no we don’t.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

Ewwwww, and also, it would explain a lot.

Know what else it explains? The Loch Ness Monster. Mystery solved.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

Just call her Sherlock Schlong.

Killer whale “Orion” from the CA51 pod
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

It’s possible she’s not wrong.

According to a post by “My Alliance with Science,” many drawings of sea monsters are really just “large tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water.”

In other words, they’re really just whale dicks.

“Apparently back in the early days of exploration many travelers would simply draw what they found/saw since the means to study, photograph, further explore it didn’t exist yet.

Well this is where many of our deep sea monster stories come from, because as it turns out many of these drawings may have depicted large tentacled and alienesque appendages emerging from the water giving belief to something larger and more sinister lurking beneath….

however in many cases it was really just whale dicks.

Whales often mate in threes so while one male was busy with the female the other male just pops his dick out of the water while swimming around waiting his turn.

There. That’s a thing you know now.”

You’re welcome.

Sea monster or not, not everyone is a fan of Orion’s appendage. Or orcas, for that matter.

At least, not anymore.

And as for that lifelong dream of swimming with orcas? That’ll be a HARD PASS, thankyouverymuch.

FB comment @blueoceanwhalewatch
FB/blueoceanwhalewatch

That dream is dead. 

In all seriousness, I don’t know whether I should be impressed or wash my eyeballs out with bleach.

(Or start planning a whale watching tour with Blue Ocean Whale Watch, that too.)

Just in case you haven’t had an eyeful yet, you can check out the original post with ALL the pics and the full comment thread below.

 

 

 

 

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