Parenting is hard. If you are reading this, then you likely are a parent and are thinking to yourself, “Duh lady..tell me something I don’t know.” Well, I’ve been doing this mom thing for six years now, and there is one thing I know for sure – swearing reduces stress and therefore it makes me a better parent.
I have the mouth of a sailor. I drop F-bombs all day everyday.
Sh*t is known to exit my mouth at least 4-5 times daily. I say these words without thought or remorse of who is listening, whether it’s my son’s speech therapist or my two-year-old’s impressional ears.
I don’t care. Not one bit.
You are either shaking your head in agreement or thinking I must be the worst mother ever. Well, I’m not.
I’m a lot of things, but a bad mom is not one of them. I’ve been praised by my peers, my spouse, my kid’s teacher, a child psychologist and heck, even my mother-in-law thinks I’m doing a bang up job at this gig.
While I contribute a lot of it to my love of my children, years spent rearing other people’s kids as a childcare worker, having a little brother, and an education in human services, one of the biggest factors in my development as a decent parent is an outlet for my everyday frustrations. In my case: swearing.
Some people work out, some people smoke, some people drink or yell or whatever, but I swear.
The kids trashed my living room while I was in the shower for 10 minutes, yep some F-bombs are coming out!
The cat puked on the floor for the third time in two days…you guessed it, I’ll be uttering, “I’m so sick of this sh*t!”
Heck I even say swear words when I’m excited or happy too.
“That’s really effing cool buddy,” I’ve been known to say when my kid shows me how he can now write our last name in addition to his first.
I wasn’t always this way. Growing up, neither of my parents really swore much.
Here and there of course, but nothing that really should have rubbed off on any of us kids. But, then I married a former military man and picked up on the cussing.
Now, after 15 years with the man, I probably swear more than him. He’s even had to tell me to “tone it down” in front of the kids. Sometimes I forget little ears are listening to our evening powwow when he gets home from work and we just like to catch one another up on our respective days.
To me, swearing is a way of acknowledging my stress/anxiety/anger.
It’s me telling the world that I’m in one of those moods, and it gives me a way to let it out in a mostly healthy outlet. I’m not swearing at anyone or anything in particular, mostly just the given situation. I don’t call my kids names or even my cat after she puked that third time in two days.
After all, I love these creatures, all of them. I can’t say I don’t call Vickie, the online troll that frequents my blog page a bitch, because I do and she deserves it.
I feel like swearing gets a bad wrap in our society.
As if you are looked down upon or thought to be less smart if you choose to cuss. Well, that’s really not true. I’m one sharp cookie friends. Like, honor society high schooler, magna cum laude college graduate smart.
And I swear, a lot.
So do many of my big-brained friends, one is a doctor, one is a engineer, and one has her MBA. All of them swear. Just as much if not more than I do. They are good people, good parents, and good citizens of the world. That doesn’t mean we all swear at funerals, in business meetings or at church. Give us a little credit, we have some tact.
And to answer your question, yes, my kids have both sworn in my presence and out in public. It’s happened. Sue me. I really don’t say anything awful.
There are no references to body parts or crude acts or the bottom of the barrel stuff. I really don’t see the harm and if someone wants to point a finger at my kids they can turn it right back around at me.
I take full responsibility because underneath the potty mouth is a mom that is teaching them to say please and thank you, help a friend in need and to work hard to be the best version of themselves.
In the end I think it all balances out. Maybe they will swear as adults, maybe they won’t. I’m okay with it either way.
I invite you to come out of the dark ages where swearing was met with soap in the mouth (whoever did that anyways?) or a spank on the tush, and consider letting your mouth run loose.
And guess what? Studies have shown that people that swear are smarter and have more friends. I’ll be over here waiting for you on the fence with the other non-fake, real life parents. I’ll save you a seat.