If you’ve ever whispered “I love you, but please stop talking” under your breath, or stared at the wall questioning every life choice while your child asks for a snack they already rejected—this one’s for you.
Because some days, parenting feels like such a blessing.
And other days, your child’s presence alone is enough to test every ounce of patience you’ve ever had.
Let’s say the quiet part out loud: you can love your child endlessly and still not like them on a particular day.
That doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human.
Love Is Permanent. Like Is Conditional.
Let’s clear this up right away: love and like are not the same thing.
Love is the constant. The foundation. The thing that doesn’t disappear even when you’re overstimulated, exhausted, or hiding in the bathroom just to breathe for 90 seconds.
Like, however, is situational.
Like depends on:
- Sleep (or lack of it)
- Tone of voice
- How many times you’ve repeated yourself
- Whether or not you’ve had caffeine
You can love your child unconditionally and still dislike their behavior, attitude, or energy on any given day. These feelings don’t cancel each other out, they coexist.
Why These Days Hit So Hard
On the days you don’t “like” your child very much, it’s rarely just about them.
It’s the day you:
- Are running on empty but still expected to show up calmly
- Are carrying invisible stress no one else sees
- Are reacting faster than you can think
- Are stretched thin between responsibilities, expectations, and guilt
- Are mentally overloaded with decisions, noise, and constant needs
- Are regulating yourself while teaching someone else how to regulate
- Are doing your best with very little left to give
Kids are tiny emotional mirrors. When they’re dysregulated, loud, or defiant, they tend to hit us right where we’re already stretched thin.
And the kicker? They act out most where they feel safest. While reassuring, is also incredibly frustrating.
What Actually Helps on Those Days
You don’t need to fix your feelings. You need permission—and a few tools.
- Name it (to yourself).
Try this instead of guilt:
“This is a hard day. I’m overwhelmed. This doesn’t define me or my child.” - Lower the bar without apology.
This might look like:
- Screen time without guilt
- Takeout (or cereal) for dinner
- A few quiet minutes alone to reset
- Saying “not today” to the extra thing
- Letting the mess wait
- Choosing rest over productivity
- Canceling plans you don’t have the energy for
- Doing the bare minimum and calling it enough
Survival mode is still parenting.
- Separate the child from the behavior.
You can hold both truths:
“I don’t like what’s happening right now, but I love you.” - Repair matters more than perfection.
If you snapped (because you’re human), repair later:
“That was a tough moment. I still love you. We’re okay.”
Repair builds trust far more than never messing up.
A Reminder You Probably Need
You are not required to enjoy every moment of parenting.
You are not failing because today is hard.
And you are absolutely not alone.
Some days, parenting feels like a blessing.
Other days, it’s loud, sticky, and emotionally exhausting.
Both are real. Both are normal.
And tomorrow? Tomorrow might be better. Or at least quieter—and sometimes, that’s enough.
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