While you’re dating, sex is typically at the top of the list of “things we love to do together!”. You’ve got the major hots for your partner, everything feels new & exciting, and you can’t seem to get enough of each other.
While dating, the desire for sex often trumps other pleasures, such as eating, sleeping, etc.
Fast forward to married life… sometimes things change.
It’s not that you’ve lost your chemistry by any means- married life just brings lots of other distractions to your relationship. With bills to pay, kids to raise, your sex life can sometimes take a backseat when you’re juggling all.the.things.
The married folks of Twitter have plenty to say about how their sex lives are going; laugh along as we check out the realities of what “the wild thing” is like after the wedding!
- Some people worry that getting married will dull their sex life. Maybe they’re right?
friend: Should I get married?
me: Do you like sex?
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 5, 2017
2. Once you’re married, being sexually spontaneous just requires more… planning.
Single: We do it like rabbits
Married: I submitted the proper request form but haven’t heard back yet
— eminerik (@ericsshadow) November 14, 2017
3. Sometimes you miss the excitement of dating sex- no, not like that, though.
Wife : I wish we still had sex like we did when we first started dating.
Me: So, like, with other people?
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 30, 2018
4. Your sex life can get a little stale if you let it. But at least you’ve exercising your- mind?
Her: You breath funny when you do that.
Me: Just read your book.
— Jersey (@better_off_dad) June 21, 2018
5. Sometimes you just need to get the job done, quickly. But not TOO quickly!
Fast and Furious is my favorite movie about married sex. He's fast and she's furious…
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) June 9, 2016
6. Or you can skip it altogether that day. Thanks anyway, buddy!
“Hey Buddy!” is my code to my husband for “No Sex Today”
— Cydni Beer (@cydbeer) August 16, 2018
7. But married sex CAN be exciting; the mere mention of it can get a person’s heart beating faster (as he/she hustles out the door).
[alarm goes off]
Wife: Unnngh. I don’t want to get out of bed.
Me: If you stay in bed, I’m going to try to have sex with you.
Wife: [already at work]
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) January 14, 2019
8. You can still keep the passion flowing with some persistence…
Keep the flame alive by withholding sex until he puts away the pair of shoes that’s been sitting on the steps for 2 weeks.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 8, 2017
9. It just requires a little more effort, to show your partner you’re still sexy AF.
Just put on fancy socks and a night shirt with no food stains so I can try to seduce my husband later.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 23, 2016
10. Watching TV together can get you in the mood- and nothing gets married peeps in the mood quicker than bonding over the unrealistic house dreams of other couples.
87% of married sex starts with someone pausing House Hunters.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 3, 2016
11. Trying new sexual positions can add a much-needed SPARK to a marriage.
my wife & I just invented a new sex position called "when was the last time YOU washed the fucken dishes"
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) September 2, 2017
12. Role-playing can be exciting, too. Rawr!
Me: She sits at the ready. The lioness prepares to devour her prey.
Wife: We are NOT having sex in furry costumes.
Me: A feisty lioness!
— James Alvarez (@ObscureGent) April 5, 2017
13. Taking a vacation together is ideal for getting away from it all (& getting it over with).
If you’ve never been on vacation with your spouse and said, “let’s just have sex now so we don’t have to worry about having it later,” then are you even really married?
— Marriage And Martinis (@MarriageMartini) August 12, 2018
14. But with some planning, sex at home can still be awesome. And a nap afterward makes it even more awesome.
My wife and I are at the age where morning sex only happens if both of us had a good night's sleep and don't have to go to work afterward.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) July 25, 2019
15. And sometimes, just sleeping together -actually sleeping– can be enough. That’s if you manage to find the strength to end up lying down in the same room, of course. #marriagegoals
Sex? How about more realistic marriage goals.
Like making it to bed. Or even the same couch before collapsing in battle-weary heaps.
— Walking Outside In Slippers (@WalkingOutside) January 12, 2016
The frequency of your sex life can ebb & flow depending on your current stage of life, but you’ve got lots of time to figure out what works best for you & your spouse.