Even the “BEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD” has a breaking point

My kids were very sweet on Mother’s day; for a portion of the day, that is.

I was gratefully on the receiving end of adorable, effort-taking crafts, thoughtful and honest cards written in kid-handwriting (my favorite) with heart-tugging words, flowers, balloons, & homemade signs

They did well.

They did great.

Daddy did great. (Thanks, hun.)

They all made this mama feel very loved and appreciated.

My kids were very sweet on Mother’s day; for a portion of the day, that is. ‘Cause they still acted up. And, per usual, we had whining, toy stealing, raised voices, some putting of our hands on our siblings, a few deliveries of sass, a bit of back talk and that night, to extend the close of the day and delay what’s left of the time Mommy has to relax sans kids before a 5 am Monday wake up, my two beautiful ladies were struggling to fall asleep.

So, what did I do about it?

I was exasperated, exhausted and frustrated, and I surely let them know such.

Mean mommy made her appearance, on Mother’s Day of all days, and now I’m disappointed in myself for allowing her to show up, ever, of course, but especially on that day.

It makes me feel like a fraud. The woman whose kids told her she is “the best mommy in the world” — the same woman who shared the love and presents that her children showered her in all over social media because she needs the world to know that her kids think she’s “a good one.” — she’s sitting here, right now, in the room of her almost eight-year-old feeling pissed that she’s still “on” instead curled up on the couch, solo, just down a stairwell eating ice cream.

Should my oldest daughter be able to put herself to sleep?

Probably, but I’ve always laid with my kids at night.

And, now, her three-year-old sister likes to sleep with her, and so I put them both to bed and wait for them to completely shut down before I leave.

Do I partially loathe how long the bedtime process occasionally takes?

Yes.

Do I feel guilty for admitting that even though I love my offspring with every ounce of my being, I also need breaks from them?

Yes.

Do I know that it is quite possible that every one of us who has been awarded the title of “best mommy in the world” has many moments each week (and sometimes each day) when we feel that having a breaking point makes us undeserving of such a noteworthy valuation?

Yes.

I’ve now been sitting in the dark for 1 hour, and my tyke is still tossing and turning.

I feel for her. Having trouble sleeping is for the birds. It sucks.

And, if she knew what the bird was, she’d probably flip me one, and tell mean mommy to ‘peace out’ because she is no help whatsoever.

But, since she is sweet and innocent and I am the one with a part-time potty mouth and an occasional attitude, I’ll be the one to send mean mommy packing.

At the same time, I’ll tell my feelings of guilt and self-disappointment to take a hike as well, cause they have no place here; not here in her room and absolutely not in my brain or heart.

I’m a hardworking mommy, a loving mommy, and an all the time, always there Mommy.

And, all of that, well, it makes me a tired mommy, one who is easily irritated,is quick to react, yells, and cries.

As a mom, the days are long. And, when your child cannot fall asleep, it feels even

L
O
N
G
E
R

Another 30 minutes passed, and I was still there in her room, and my ice cream was still in the freezer.

But, guess what?

It was Mother’s Day, and on that special day in history, I’m — maybe begrudgingly, but always #blessed — to be right where I am meant to be, doing what I am meant to be doing for the ones that need it done.

I’m mothering.

‘Til a later hour than I would have preferred that night, but oh well, my dessert tasted that much better when I finally put it down, and that cup of peanut butter-swirled goodness, thankfully, it can’t fight me on it.