I have yet to see a fashion show dedicated to realistic mom fashion. Oh, sure, there are lots of guides to fresh summer looks for moms, or racks of clothing we will buy to look our best.
I’m not talking about that mom fashion. I’m talking about the real deal – our mom uniform, if you will.
If we really wanted to write an Essential Mom Style Guide, it might look something like this:
Thirteen Pairs of Jeans That Don’t Fit
Maternity jeans, jeans you wore when you were in your twenties that are too tight now but you still have hope, jeans you bought because they were on sale. These are not jeans – these are a fantasies.
Some of us actually do yoga, some of us don’t. Most of us own yoga pants in some form. They are the great equalizer – short, tall, slim, fat, yoga pants work for everyone. And they are really fucking comfortable.
If you don’t currently own yoga pants, go get some. Seriously, run, don’t walk. They don’t have to be expensive Lululemon, your $12 Walmart ones work just fine too.
Yoga pants’ classier cousin. Leggings work for everything. Lounging around the house? Leggings. Dinner out? Leggings. Meeting the Queen? Your “fancy” leggings. It’s all about the top and accessories you wear with them. Leggings are the best, and you will never convince me otherwise.
Or several. One of them is probably from college. Hoodies are great for those days where it’s cool but not cold – but they are even better for days you just really don’t feel like putting on a bra.
A Nice Pair of Jeans that Fit Perfectly
They make your ass pop, they don’t dig into your belly or gap at the back exposing your butt crack to the world. They don’t show your ankles or drag under your heels. They are denim from Heaven.
Something Stained With Coffee
It’s probably your most comfortable piece of clothing. It’s stained because you wear it constantly. You keep it because most days at home you don’t give a shit how you look, you just want to be able to sit in any position you want to, and drink your coffee in peace.
Twenty-Seven Pairs of PJ Pants
Everyone knows that the pants come off the second you walk through the door. Or, if you work from home like I do, the pants never get put on in the first place. I sleep naked – yet I still own more PJ pants than I do outside-the-house pants.
Sweaters are awesome. They are comfortable, stylish, and flattering. I gleefully admit I love seeing the leaves start to change colour because I know I will soon be able to whip out my beloved sweaters.
A Power Shirt
In college, it was a club shirt – that shirt we wore that accentuated…everything. We were hot shit in that shirt and we knew it. For many of us, our clubbing days are done, but we still have that one top that makes us feel fantastic and powerful whenever we put it on.
We might wear it for an important meeting, or a date, or simply grocery shopping when we need a pick-me-up.
Clothes Your Partner “Outgrew”
I will admit, a lot of my loungewear actually consists of t-shirts that fit my husband a few years ago, that now fit me and not him. Hand-me-downs are not just for children.
Some Kind of Hat
It doesn’t matter what kind, we don’t wear it to be stylish. We employ it as a bad hair day covering measure. In truth, it might not be a hat. It could be a headband, an elastic that doubles as a bracelet, or even an old-school scrunchie. It’s our hair-Hail Mary.
Of course, we will still browse, buy, and even wear the latest styles, the cute jump suits, the fashionable trends. But this list right here – this is our core wardrobe. This is the essence of our style – comfort, familiarity, and identity.
You fashion bloggers can thank me later for giving you permission to look like the rest of us once in a while.