The Hilarious Parents of Twitter Remind Us No One Keeps Their New Year’s Resolutions


Every year I do this cute thing where I make a New Year’s resolution and then immediately forget about it until the following year when I make the exact same resolution all over again. It’s not that I don’t want to go to the gym or stop binge eating snacks at three o’clock in the morning.

It’s just that, well, I’m a busy mom, with a short attention span, and and and … I am just chock-full of excuses. The truth is, like most parents, I am making these adorably optimistic resolutions at 11:55PM on NYE when I’m delirious with exhaustion (and slightly buzzed) and hardly even remember making them. 

Luckily, the hilarious parents of Twitter are keeping it real, as always, and reminding us that we aren’t the only ones giving up on our resolutions before January is even over. 

1. Let’s be honest:


2. Some of us just set the bar really, really low:

3. Or don’t bother to make resolutions at all (Yum!):

4. Kids make it so hard:

5. Did I say, “Hard”? I meant “Impossible”:

6. It’s easy to think of resolutions for other people though:

7. Especially for our significant others:

8. But most of us just like our goodies too much to give up on them:

9. And being productive just sounds bor-ing:

10. This just sounds like she’s #WINNING

11. So maybe it’s best to stick to realistic goals.

12. Or just come to terms with the fact that it was NEVER GONNA HAPPEN:

Don’t worry… no one else kept theirs either. 



Lauren Lodder earned her BA from UC Berkeley and her MA from CSUF. Before becoming a freelance writer, she taught writing and literature classes at the college level. You can find her on Facebook and on Twitter. Her work has appeared on HuffPost, Scary Mommy, Babble, Buzzfeed, The Mighty, among others.



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