A guy told me that his uncle and Aunty split because they loved their kids too much. I was 16 at the time. I thought, what?? That’s not right. Someone had an affair or something.
Because that’s why marriages with kids end, right?
Oh, how naive I was.
Because 22 years later, I understood. My ex-partner and I loved our kids so much that we never bothered to put ourselves first in our relationship.
We got swept up with parenting and resented each other.
So we both became single parents.
And my god, the stigma for single moms is real.
“You must have dated a loser.”
“You shouldn’t have had kids.”
“You’ll never find someone who will love you when you have three kids.”
I get these comments A LOT.
And oh how naive they are….
There are women out there who find themselves single with children for many reasons.
They aren’t black or white.
Some women are single mothers because their husbands died.
Or they married a fantastic man, who turned out to be abusive – because no woman falls in love with an asshole at first.
Or they just loved their kids too much. They put them first instead of their relationship.
There are so many reasons why women find themselves single – but it’s none of your business.
But here’s what single moms are not:
They are not broken.
They aren’t whores who just wanted to procreate and subsequently now don’t care about their children.
They aren’t incapable because they don’t have a man living with them. They are worthy They are lovable – and they don’t need a man to love them.
And they are damn good mothers.
I don’t know who started this narrative, but every time you make an uneducated comment on a single mother, ask yourself, do I say that about a single dad?
Ask yourself, do I actually know her story?
Ask yourself, does my opinion really matter, or should I spend my internet time at a therapist’s office trying to find out why I think my opinion means more than someone’s truth and why do I hate women so much?
Because whatever issues you’ve got, single mothers are not it. We are fucking legendary, and NOTHING you can say will ever make me question my parenting skills because we are fucking ace.
This post is reposted with permission and originally appeared on the author’s Facebook Page