To My Son, The Loner

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To my son, the loner.

You have never been one for extra attention, or outings, or sports, or gathering.

You are the kindest, funniest, most responsible 15 year old kid I’ve ever known.

Being a loner has not affected you negatively, yet everyday I worry about you. I worry you are not happy, or fulfilled. I worry that you think less of yourself because you are never with friends. I worry you are lonely during these crazy times of change and awkwardness when your friends cannot be around.

But you are none of those. You are happy every single day with the way you live your life. You thrive in school from home.

You take care of your little brother without a single complaint.

You make sure I come home to a clean kitchen after work. You switch laundry, use a dishwasher, and even start dinner.

You are the one and only man in my life that stepped up when your father and I had to go our separate ways.

You are my firstborn and my greatest accomplishment. I will forever love you more than life itself for what you have taught me and brought to my life.

You are a loner and I love you.

Your mental health is something I check in on every day. So much so that you shut the door in my face at times with a grunt and then laugh because you think I’m nuts.

You hate to shower or use deodorant on a regular basis, but we have a mutual understanding that you will do it anyways and I pray every night that you will start to realize how much more I would love you if you just STARTED doing this!

Puberty does not matter one bit to you when it comes to hygiene and even though I love you anyways….I’m ready for that part to be over!

But it’s ok.

Because I will never let your mental well being slip through the cracks during the first toughest years of your life.

Even when you get older and move on and start to venture off with friends and girls, I will still check in with you. I will still annoy you about depression and bullys and jerks and drugs and (gasp!) sex!

And you will still think I’m crazy. Always.

As a mother during these HORRID years of puberty and change and hormones, I know I have to let you “go” and let you figure out who you are and what you want but DAMN IT it’s hard!

But no matter what you become, my son, after these years of awkwardness and change – I will be right beside you all the way and here to catch you through all of these life choices and changes should any of them ever cause you to fall.

This post originally appeared on the blog, Balancing The Blended Family.

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