What NOT To Do If You Want Sex With Your Wife Tonight

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Sometimes in marriage it’s hard to squeeze in sex with your wife. As women when it’s time we want to be hot and ready for it, not annoyed with our husbands and scheming up ways to AVOID THE DEED.

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To make sure she’s all about it and not all against it, here are some common things to avoid beforehand in the hours, days, and yes even months leading up to those bedroom moments.

So, husbands, here’s what NOT to do if you want sex with your wife tonight.

Don’t claim you’re doing something so you can’t possibly multitask and watch the kiddos too.

She has to constantly do things with kids underfoot so claiming helplessness is a big long detour to the bedroom in her book.

8 Things NOT to do if you want to have sex with your wife tonight. #married #marriage #Marriedlife #husbandsandwives #sexlife #sex

Don’t disappear into the bathroom for a 30 min (or more) poo right as all hell is breaking loose with the kids.

Pooping in general is not a turn on. The fact that it takes you so long to vacate the bathroom raises concerns for your health and in the animal instinct world this would make you a questionable choice for mating.

Don’t dismiss what she’s done that day as not really work or hard work.

This might send you straight to the doghouse, buddy. Don’t make her feel like her work at home or wherever her job may be is not valued by you. Like seriously, you may never have sex again.

Don’t act like an overgrown child she must “mother” in some way.

Having to remind you to do things or taking care of them for you is not going to have her jumping your bones anytime soon. You want her to see you as a man, not ANOTHER CHILD

Don’t change your facial hair right before you plan to hook up.

Going from a man with lots of facial hair to one cleanly shaven is going to make her feel like she either has a stranger to get to know before she jumps into bed with him or your pre-puberty baby look will be too much of a distraction for her to be in the mood.

8 Things NOT to do if you want to have sex with your wife tonight. #married #marriage #Marriedlife #husbandsandwives #sexlife #sex

Don’t come in from outside and rub your hot sweaty, dirty body all over hers.

The hot, sweaty outdoorsy look is a turn on but from a distance. Don’t touch until you’ve at least washed off the sweat and dirt.

Don’t make her feel guilty about her time away.

Whether it’s watching football games, guys’ nights, video games, or whatever manly things you give your time to remember marriage is about equality, not servitude. Make sure she’s not only getting time to pursue her interest but that you support and encourage her in doing them. Happy, wife, happy life= more sex for you.

Don’t impregnate her.

Though she jumped your bones to get that baby in there in the first place, once she’s pushed a human out of her lady parts she’s not letting you back near there anytime soon. Sorry, but that shop is closed until further notice.

This may seem like a laundry list of things to avoid to get your desired sex time. Maybe it’s easier to think of the things TO DO to ensure she’s all about sex the next time. Nothing is sexier than a man who plays around with his kids.

The scruffy and hard working look can be a turn on too. Recognizing what she does and expressing appreciation will make the next trip to the bedroom happen sooner rather than later. And just seriously, don’t poop so much. Hope this helps you get MORE SEXY TIME, husbands.

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