Christmas is almost here, and although good ‘ole Santa Claus gets the credit for pulling off the gift bonanza, it’s the parents that are in the trenches of making it a memorable holiday for their kids.
Pulling off a picture-perfect Christmas Day can be exhausting, and it takes a lot of parental blood, sweat, & tears (and maybe alcohol?) to get the job done.
The parents of Twitter are just as worn out as you right now, and still wrapping. So pass the scotch tape, sip your glass of spiked eggnog, and enjoy these holiday tweets!
- The hell starts early, with the damn Elf On The Shelf. ‘Elf that guy…
My condolences to all the parents who now have to remember to move an elf every night from now until Christmas.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 23, 2018
2. Then there’s the whole family photo holiday card. “SMILE, DAMMIT!”
Behind every Holiday Photoshoot is a mom threatening to cancel all joy and happiness until the end of time if everyone doesn’t sit still and smile for 2 freaking seconds.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) October 25, 2018
3. Kids begin their Christmas lists… and apparently think Santa’s loaded.
According to my kids' Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.
— ?Sarcastic Mommy? (@sarcasticmommy4) November 27, 2017
4. But the good news is, there will be many, many list drafts. And updates.
Child: OOH I just thought of something else to put on my Christmas list.
Me: I’m sorry, but Santa’s deadline for that shit was two weeks ago.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) December 21, 2018
5. The shopping begins. And never, EVER ends.
Funny how this Target cashier says "Merry Christmas" like she's not going to see me 50 more times between now & then.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) December 14, 2015
6. And the wrapping. This should be a thing, Uber. Why isn’t it a thing?!
There should be an Uber for somebody to come over and wrap all your presents.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 23, 2017
7. Then reality hits: there’s just not.enough.time!
Christmas prep is like college finals week: late nights, massive carb consumption, & the panic of knowing I should have started much sooner.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) December 8, 2017
8. Parents are running on empty… or chocolate. And desperation.
a week before Christmas and I’m solely powered by Lindt truffles, Cabernet, and Kohl’s cash
— Valerie ??? (@ValeeGrrl) December 19, 2018
9. Some of us can get kinda, well, moody.
Husband & I joked about Mrs. Claus being a stressed out bitch at Christmas & we knew we were really talking about me & we laughed & laughed.
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) December 26, 2016
10. Things really ramp up on Christmas Eve- it’s “go time”!
The most unbelievable part of “The Night Before Christmas” is the part that describes the parents going to sleep: “Long winter’s nap,” my ass.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) December 24, 2017
11. As in, “go BACK to the store for more tape. Never enough tape.”
Hey stores if you could just put all the scotch tape right by the registers after 8 pm Christmas Eve that’d be great.
— The 21st Century SAHM (@21stcenturysahm) December 22, 2017
12. You and your spouse might not be full of holiday cheer while dragging out the gifts.
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying a romantic Christmas Eve together we can spend the night screaming about missing batteries and hurting our backs lugging presents down from the attic.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) December 18, 2018
13. … if you can even remember where you hid them in the first place…
Trying to remember where I hid all of my kids' gifts will be the real Christmas miracle.
— ?Sarcastic Mommy? (@sarcasticmommy4) December 12, 2017
14. And let’s face it, usually Mom is the only one left standing. And cursing.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the mom who was rage-wrapping, meal-prepping, stocking stuffing, chain-baking, and stress-cleaning.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) December 21, 2018
15. And let’s not forget the family party you’re hosting! Again!
My family Christmas party starts in 6 hours so just to be on the safe side I started drinking 2 hours ago.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 23, 2017
16. But the important thing is, it’s a magical day. For at least an hour or two, anyway.
“Okay, what’s the next holiday?”
-Kids, 3:17pm, Christmas afternoon
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) December 26, 2017
Happy holidays, all! May your days be merry, and bright, and your Visa balance reasonable.