4 Father’s Day Gifts That Are Free & What Your Partner ACTUALLY Wants This Year

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As Father’s Day rolls around, you may find yourself wondering, once again, what to get your partner.

At this point, it’s a little late in the game to order something. Even with a generous Amazon Prime window, you basically need to decide on a gift this instant (and even that may be too late).

So I suggest going a different route this Father’s Day.

I’m not an expert on what men think (my husband will happily attest to that), but I wasn’t born yesterday either.

Chances are your partner doesn’t need another tie or a World’s Greatest Dad mug.

He doesn’t need more power tools. (And even if he did – he probably wouldn’t want you picking them out for him anyway.)

So what should you get the man in your life to celebrate him as a father?

Have no fear—here are four Father’s Day gifts guaranteed to make this your partner’s best Father’s Day ever.

1. Sex

I know, I know. This may not be what you want to hear, but it’s most likely what he actually wants. The same act that (probably) made him a father is also how he’d like to celebrate Father’s Day.

(And if your baby came by way of IUI, IVF, Foster Care, Adoption, etc… well, he still wants sex for Father’s Day.)

So shave your legs (and drink some extra caffeine!), put the kids to bed early, and give the man what’s almost certainly at the top of his list.

2. Silence

You know the old stereotype about how men don’t like to talk much? Well, it became a stereotype for a reason: a lot of men don’t enjoy excessive chit-chat.

For most dads, silence is probably pretty high up on their wish list.

Do you know how much silence exists in the day-to-day life of a parent? Basically, zero.

Someone is always talking. Maybe they’re talking to you, maybe they’re just talking near you, but the fact remains: kids are hardly ever quiet.

This Father’s Day, do your best to wrangle the little noise-makers. Take them to the back yard, take them to the park, maybe even purchase some child-friendly muzzles (kidding!).

Do whatever it takes to give dad a little peace and quiet.

More precious than gold, more rare than diamonds– give the dad in your family the gift of silence.

3. Silence, followed by sex, followed by more silence

You know what’s better than sex or silence? Sex AND silence.

This Father’s Day, don’t make your partner choose between his two favorite gifts. Give him both!

Then, you can go ahead and collect your World’s Greatest Wife trophy. Maybe even get it engraved, because at that point, no one will be able to wrestle the title from your grasp.

4. A Honey Don’t List

In our house, the weekends are usually reserved for knocking things off our never-ending to-do list –things that often can’t be done during the week.

Many of those tasks fall to the hubs.

Father’s Day is always on the weekend, so this presents a problem. No one wants to spend their special day patching drywall or organizing the shed.

This year, consider swapping out your Honey-Do list for a Honey-Don’t list instead.

Don’t ask him to mow the lawn.

Don’t ask him to take out the trash.

Don’t ask him to clean out the garage.

Just leave him be.

This may require a dose of valium for you, or at the very least a blindfold (if you can’t see a mess, is it really there?), but it’ll be worth it.

For just this weekend, take your cue from Elsa and Let It Gooooooooooooooo!

The payoff for a Father’s Day done right is huge.

Your partner will feel appreciated, relaxed even—and he definitely deserves that for being such a great dad.

You’ll also save money because everything on this list is free. (I mean, the Honey Don’t list may cost you a bit of your sanity, but no cash.)

And, as a selfish bonus, when Mother’s Day rolls around, you’ll feel no guilt for making a Top 4 gift list of your own.

(I’ve already prepared mine: 1. Silence 2. Silence 3. Silence 4. Silence).

Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out there!

 

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