Mom Tweets Hilariously Clever Bedtime Stall Conversations Her Son Tries 30 Days In A Row

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One of the biggest differences between adults and children is the desire to rest. While adults crave rest & relish every (rare) opportunity to slow down, kids seem to ramp up at the end of the night.

After a marathon of a day -especially now that kids are home 24/7- most parents cannot wait until bedtime. But just as you’re about to cross the finish line of the marathon, your weary feet trip over a child that suddenly morphs into an endlessly hungry & thirsty bedtime philosopher. 

One mom was so amused by her son’s clever conversational bedtime stalls that she documented 30 days of their nightly exchange in a Twitter thread that has now gone viral because all parents live it, too.

Mom Kate Bowler’s 6-year-old son has got some SERIOUS GAME when it comes to the bedtime delay. Every single night he asks his mother one question as she tucks him into bed:

While he’s only six years old, clearly her son knows EXACTLY what he’s doing (or trying to do, anyway), because he gives that same sweet voice that kids use when they ask for candy or more time on their electronic devices.

Kate committed to sharing the nightly question for 30 days in what has now become one of Twitter’s most adorably amusing tweet threads ever. 

While the little dude likely has a curious mind during daytime hours as well, it’s clear that he gives his nightly question some DEEP thought in the hopes that it will at least delay mom’s exit:

It’s clear that this isn’t Kate’s first rodeo when it comes to bedtime kid trickery; she doesn’t fall for his verbal shenanigans. But the mental image of him yelling, 

MOM WHAT DO THEY TASTE LIKE!!!!!

.. in desperation to his mom’s departing back is frigging hilarious.

This kid is GOOD. While I might not have fallen for this one by coming back into the room to answer, you can bet your bippy that I just pondered if I DO know someone with one eye (I don’t).

Spoiler Alert: You just mentally debated if you do, too. Kate’s right:

THAT KID HAS GAME. 

You can sense the panic here: we’ve got free association. You know this little guy’s brain was racing, thinking, “What will pause her- hair? Yes, hair!! No wait- accordions… BEES!  I’ll try BEES!!!”

(Note: Kate points out in the subsequent tweet that he’d already been tucked three times, so clearly little man was adopting a “go big or go home” approach.)

Is cheese funny? Not necessarily. But his progression from string cheese to Google and then GOD’s birth is hysterical.  

I was genuinely curious what Dad’s job is since he’s “not exactly” a ghost pirate, but the best part of this one:

That was a long time ago. When you were a kid. In the Civil Wars.

(Nice try, kiddo. That’s definitely not gonna win you any brownie points with Mom!)

DAMN, KID!!! Now that was a master move.  No question tonight, mom… but there may, or may not be part of a lizard in the kitchen sink. No biggie. Sleep tight, mom!

(I’ve got six kids, and I’D have fallen for that one. I’d have a flashlight up in that drain, hoping I didn’t see a lizard tail. Or a regenerating lizard.)

Another slick one; a good conspiracy theory can keep people talking for hours. Well played, kid.

I wouldn’t be surprised if this kid knows all of the secrets in the cave of crystals, because he’s obviously a higher evolved species of child, so….

Back to the animal strategy. Definitely a winning move, because no one wants to be the parents that assumed this wasn’t true (just check out this opossum story as proof!)

Questions about God & the universe go a long way; so does flattery:

And when I came out we looked at each other and it was LOVE MOM. 

*sigh* Fine, mom. YOU try and sleep when real pirates are getting squeezed & crushed by giant squids. You don’t even KNOW. 

If clever conversation fails, there’s always more strong-armed tactics to try…

Little man MUST be tired after all of his hard work at bedtime. And no- no one could feel prepared for this sophisticated level of bedtime stall attempts, kiddo. But this little genius’ nightly musings have not only kept his (tired) mother laughing, but thousands of parents on Twitter as well.

 

 

 

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Stephanie Ortiz is a SAHM of 6 who still can't quite figure out how she deviated from her original life plan of traveling the globe as a single, mad professor with too many cats & no kids. She enjoys blogging in her spare time, because it's cheaper than therapy. Her work has appeared in Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, The Daily Mail, Reader's Digest, & The Steve Harvey Show. She may maintain the facade of a mature, suburban housewife, but she's really an overgrown teenager that still enjoys pranking friends & air-guitaring to Nine Inch Nails. Find her at her blog, Six Pack Mom, or on Twitter.

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