Obviously there’s a lot of controversy about tanning. With the prevalence of skin cancer cases, the medical community urges caution with excess sun exposure, and liberal use of sunscreen.
But some sun exposure is good for us, being an excellent natural source of Vitamin D.
It’s what you’re exposing to the sun that’s the source of our latest “WTF??” social media trend.
No matter how much you love (or loathe) the idea of getting a good tan, most of us agree that there are some places we’d rather not see others exposing to good old Mr. Sunshine.
You know the expression “Shove it where the sun don’t shine”? Well, according to a weird new social media craze, there are great health benefits to letting the sun shine right on in where it don’t – well, shouldn’t– shine.
“Perineum sunning’ is the latest controversial wellness trend to go viral on social media, and no one is quite sure why.
Also known as “bum sunning”, it’s basically lying in the sun, spread-eagled, allowing your hidey-hole to soak up some rays.
To be clear, the perineum is the thin layer of skin between your private parts (male or female) & your anus.
(Some of you may have first become aware of your perineum after having it torn like a old curtain during childbirth. Surely sun can’t require stitches & a peri-bottle, am I right??)
Many Instagram influencers have begun posting pics of themselves taking in some sun, and by “taking in”, we mean taking it deep into the nether regions of the body that rarely see the light of day.
….alrighty, then…
One such devotee, known on Instagram as “Metaphysical Meagan” raves about the practice, describing it in detail in an Instagram post caption.
According to her, there are a ton of healthy benefits just waiting to be had out there in the sun- if the sun is hitting just the right places.
I’d love to possess better focus and an amplified auric field (I mean… I think? Maybe my auric field is pretty amped already?).
Wouldn’t you like deeper sleep? More balanced circadian rhythms? An increased libido??
Come on- just look at the potential benefits you’re missing out on; as Meagan points out:
I no longer rely on coffee for energy to start my day because I am getting my energy from the sun.
If the sun could provide me with more energy than my daily dose of java, well, color me intrigued. So all I have to do is…
-wait. Say WHAT, Meagan??
I start my day with 5 minutes of perineum sunning & feel energized for hours.
Sun on my per- nope. Nope. HARD PASS. I’ll stick to the coffee, thanks.
But in case you were thinking of catching some rays to put a little glow in that area, Meagan points out:
The intention of this is not to tan your butthole!!!!!!!!!!!
Good to know.
Whenever some bizarre wellness trend pops up, it’s inevitable that a celebrity will get in on the craze & give it a try, sharing the results publicly.
(And no, it’s not Gwyneth Paltrow speaking out on bum sunning. Not this time, anyway.)
Actor Josh Brolin gave perineum sunning a try, and his results were less energizing and more… OUCH.
Though he does not state how much sun “exposure” he got, he ended up with a nasty-
-well, let’s let him elaborate:
My pucker hole is crazy burned.
Now, I’ve had sunburns before. Pretty painful ones, in fact. Sunburned shoulders and back can be nasty.
But a burned anus… that’s a whole ‘nother level of awkward discomfort.
Brolin was “bummed” (yep, pun intended) that instead of enjoying a day out shopping with his family, he was stuck at home,
icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain.
Josh Brolin’s verdict on bum sunning:
I don’t know who the fuck thought of this stupid shit but fuck you nonetheless. Seriously.
He’s not a fan. But he does deserve points for his creative hashtag: #blackholesun
The medical community doesn’t encourage perineum sunning either, claiming that there is potential danger in exposing such a delicate area of unprotected skin to the sun.
Dermatologist Jeremy Fenton explained to Yahoo why the perineum is so vulnerable:
it is an area that has not received much sun exposure in most people, thus it would be lacking in the body’s normal response to sun exposure that protects it from future sunburn, such as producing pigment.
In short, your taint ain’t prepared for those rays of light.
Other experts cite the increased risk of sun cancer; dermatologist Nazanin Saedi also pointed out to Fox News that:
These areas, just like other areas of the body, do need sun protection and clothing tends to provide that.
The “bottom” line (once again, pun intended) about perineum sunning: JUST.SAY.NO.
There will always be assholes on social media, but hopefully not as many well-tanned ones in the near future.