I don’t know of a mom out there who hasn’t felt like she’s failing at this whole parenting gig at least once (or you know, a gazillion times over, give or take).
Because parenting is hard, dammit!
But take heart, even on the days when you fear you’re screwing up your kids and condemning them to a lifetime of therapy, you’re still not the worst mom in the world (no matter what your tween is telling you).
There are moms out there waaaay worse than you. And now? There’s the book to prove it.
Comedy writer Glenn Boozan has written the mother of all books to make us moms feel better about ourselves.
And honestly? This should be required reading for every mom.
There Are Moms Way Worse Than You: Irrefutable Proof That You Are Indeed A Fantastic Parent hilariously explores the worst moms in the animal kingdom and unless you’re yeeting your youngster to save yourself, it’s not you!
However, it’s not just quokka mamas that’ll make you feel like you’re killing it at motherhood. The book is chockfull of truly terrible mothers.
Just to give you a sampling, here’s what the book cover description has to say:
“A koala mom will feed her kids her own poop. Yes, poop. Panda moms will abandon one twin because raising two is, well, just too much. And every now and then a cuddly little hamster mom will —yup— eat her newborn pups.
These and other true facts from the animal kingdom offer a hilarious reality check on what constitutes “good parenting.” So, human mother, time to stop worrying about the job you’re doing —because you’re a great mom.”
So stop feeling bad about feeding your kids fast food, there are worse things you could be feeding them. Like shit, apparently.
And if you’re feeling guilty about “abandoning” your kids with the sitter for date night? Don’t.
As for thinking your baby is so damn cute, you just want to gobble him up? Take solace in knowing that you won’t ACTUALLY eat him. (I fear I will never look at hamsters the same way again.)
But wait, there’s more.
The Facebook group “Wild Green Memes For Ecological Fiends” shared excerpts from the 64-page book on their FB page where the post has gone viral with over 27K likes and 83K shares.
They captioned the post with:
“Here is a book that arrived at my library this week. I knew Quokkas had to have a dark side, but this is a bit worse than I suspected.”
From quokkas yeeting to giraffes kicking their newborns ’til they walk, it seems there are a lot of mothers out there in the wild who are taking the whole “Survival of the Fittest” thing a bit TOO far.
Take the mighty eagle, for example:
“May the odds be ever in your favor” little ones.
Yup, it appears so. (My money’s on the blue chick.)
As for feeling “guilty that you haven’t cleaned the house?” It could be worse, you could be raising your kids “in a decomposing mouse.”
I mean, at least it’s not all “Fight Club” up in there…Oh wait…
See moms? You’re doing GREAT!
The book is illustrated by Priscilla Witte and it’s already a #1 Bestseller in “Motherhood” on Amazon.
Based on the 5-star reviews, people are loving it. And the fact that it makes someone feel better about their own mother? BONUS.
And it’s not just moms either. Apparently, some dads suck too:
“It’s not just moms, some dads suck too! They’re not all warm and snuggly.
A pipefish dad will eat his kids if he thinks that they’re ugly.”
Whelp, that’s downright savage.
So go easy on yourself moms (and dads). When put into perspective, you really are winning at parenthood!
So the next time you’re throwing snacks, just remember, it could always be worse – you could be throwing babies (I’m lookin’ at you quokkas).
And on those days when your kids look you dead in the eye and scream, “You’re the worst!” just smile and hand them this book.
(You can check out a preview of the book here.)