Dear Mama – You Are Not Failing. You Are Normal.
In the thick of motherhood, managing work, home, babies, spouses, cooking, cleaning, working out, holidays, volunteering, organizing, planning appointments and play dates – all the things.
As mamas, we google and search for time-saving tips for “one pot” dinners and how to get our toddlers to eat veggies. Five minute workouts get saved in hopes that we can lose weight and squeeze in a workout. We research tips on how to organize our homes and lives better.
And we do it all against the backdrop of Pinterest, magazines, books and mommy blogs that scream billions of ideas that feel better than ours.
The message we hear on the regular is “you can do it all, mama!” And if you can’t do it all, well then you are failing because there are fifty million tips, programs, and books to help you.
So, why can’t you do all the things, mama?? Why can’t you get it together, like Susan over there?
Can I just be frank for a second? This is such a load of CRAP. No one can do it all and I guarantee, Susan, doesn’t have it all together either. Despite what it may look like on the outside.
We are all capable, strong, multi-tasking women and I’m not trying to diminish that in any way. If you have big dreams – DO THEM.
My point is, sometimes we need to cut ourselves some slack. We have to stop holding ourselves to the standard of 10 women, when we are in fact – one.
It’s OK, if your house doesn’t look Joanna Gaines “farmhouse fresh” on the regular, or ever for that matter.
It’s OK, if you grab take-out more days a week than you would prefer because you are a working mom and it’s either make dinner or spend time with your little ones before bed.
It’s OK, if you are still rocking some post baby weight even when your “baby” is now two because you can’t find five minutes to get to the gym.
It’s OK, if there are piles of laundry on the floor and dishes in the sink. If you spend what feels like hours washing, folding and wiping, yet every evening your floors are still covered with Legos, crumbs and stuffed animals everywhere.
It’s OK, if you have read five books on sleep. If you have tried everything from sound machines, to lighting, to cry it out and your baby still won’t sleep.
You are not failing. You are normal.
Motherhood makes you feel all the things. It can make you feel like superwoman and then in the next instant, a failure. It can make you feel patient and then crazy. It can bring out your best side and also your worst.
But motherhood isn’t about who you are or who you aren’t in one moment. It’s a million little moments put together. It’s about your babies wanting you, just the way you are. Motherhood is losing yourself and finding yourself, daily.
So, let me remind you, mama.
If finding time as a mama seems hard, you are normal.
If working on relationships seems difficult in this season, you are normal.
If you can’t keep the house clean, you are normal.
If you have zero time for exercising, you are normal.
If you struggle and question every parenting decision you make, you are normal.
If you have yet to figure out how to balance a career and being a mama, you are normal.
If the word “snack” is the most used word in your house, you are normal.
If you count down the time til bedtime but then scroll through pictures of your kiddos on your phone once they are asleep, you are normal.
Keep cuddling, keep pushing, keep cleaning and planning and loving hard in spite of all the things. You’re doing the hardest, most rewarding job on the planet.
Just remember – it’s OK, you are normal and Susan? She doesn’t have it all together either.
This post originally appeared on the blog, They Whine So I Wine