My Boys Insist On Wearing Shorts In Winter, And I Don’t Care Anymore

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The low was in the 40’s today. For us here in the south, that is a vicious Winter cold front. I bundle up in my sweater and coat, and I still feel chilled for 20 minutes after coming inside, where the heat is blasting on high.

My boys, on the other hand, were born with a rare yet serious condition known as never-cold-rothopy.

Symptoms include having no capacity for feeling cold, having a strong aversion to wearing pants, and becoming highly offended and irrationally emotional when someone suggests that they should.

Weird, I know, because at night they need approximately 13 blankets to fall asleep. This condition seems to strike out of convenience and is possibly (definitely) psychosomatic.

Mornings in our house are filled with cuddles, home-cooked breakfasts, and long chats about our daily intentions. Actually, our mornings are filled with the exact opposite of those things.

Photo Credit: Momstrosity.co

We are running around like crazy people while making threats to hurry up and get your shoes on, or you will be late!

This is a useless threat because my kids don’t give two poops about being late. But, I care a whole heck of a lot, because I’m sure as mess not walking my bra-less self in the school to sign them in as tardy.

So, when my boys come out of their room in their summer’s best cargo shorts, I only briefly consider physically stuffing their little bodies into seasonally-appropriate pants.

Instead, I take a deep breath and remind them that it is very cold today. If you choose to wear shorts, you will be cold. We live in an advanced society, but Target still isn’t selling leg jackets. Yet.

As per usual, my sons take my words of caution and stick it wherever it is that most of my mom advice goes to die.

They walk out of the house in shorts, swearing that they “aren’t even cold, MOM!”

I have a voice in my head that nags me with lectures and reminds me that I am probably screwing up my children. I hear her loud and clear, “Children need to learn what is expected, and do it. We make the rules and the kids follow them. Something about respect…This is what’s wrong with society…” I hear you, inner sancti-mommy! I really do. But, please shut up!

Mama is tired. I fight a lot of battles, and how my school-aged children choose to cover their lower extremities ain’t one of them.

At this point, if they can find a loincloth that fits into the school dress code, it’s fine. I DON’T CARE! Call it lazy parenting. Call it free-range parenting. Call it sticking my head in the sand. My helicopter is broken down, and my new parenting style is making it through the day with no new wrinkles.

Worst case scenario, my seasonal misfits will be cold. For 2 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes at recess. They won’t freeze.

That is a small price to pay for a peaceful(ish) morning. And best case scenario, these kids are cold and uncomfortable and learn to plan for the day through experiencing natural consequences. And best-best case scenario, they think to themselves, “Geez. Mom knows a lot. Maybe I should start listening to her.”

But we all know they are more likely to find that school appropriate loincloth.

So, keep an eye out for my boys out in last summer’s shorts, you will know it’s them because they have both grown a good bit since August, and those now almost booty shorts are starting to look like they belong in a Spring Break twerking contest.

Give them a wave and ask them if they are cold yet. If you can’t laugh with them, you might as well laugh at them. 

This post originally appeared on the Facebook page, Momstrosity

NEW ON THE BLOG: Why My Kids are Wearing Shorts in the Winter"My boys were born with a rare yet serious condition…

Posted by Momstrosity on Tuesday, December 11, 2018

11 COMMENTS

  1. My 2 boys always wear shorts too year around and we live in the snow. If dad coukd get away with it work he would too. Between the 2 boys they own 1 pair of jeans and at Christmas i had to buy a pair of slacks. My oldest, “what exactly are slacks!?”
    And just a hooded sweatshirt, no jacket

    • That is all my older son wears. He owns one pair of khakis for Christmas and nice khaki shorts for Easter and Mother’s Day. On the sub zero windchill days we can get him to throw running tights under the shorts, but there is never a jacket and only a hoodie.

  2. I have a grandson with a sensory disorder. He can’t stand pants and will wear shorts all the time. When he was in public school, they had a rule that no shorts or sandals could be worn from November 1 to April 1. Every day was a struggle to get him ready and out the door. Now we homeschool and we don’t have to fight that battle-except to go to church…

  3. LOL At least they wear winter coats…my middle schoolers will still give me a hard time with one loving shorts in the MN winter.

  4. The south is tricky when it comes to weather, summer one day and winter the next. I wait until it is 100% winter then I take all their shorts and pack them up in storage boxes so we can’t have this fight.

    They grumble for a couple of days, but they can’t wear what they can’t find. 😉

  5. I like to think it isn’t necessarily defiance on my boy’s part (because they always listen to me and this is not part of any SPD they may have) but that my Ohio coldweather sensibility DNA was overrode by my husband’s North Atlantic Canadian bloodline.

  6. Unless you’re going to stand outside in the cold for a long period of time (while not being active), then shorts it is. All you have to do is get from Point A (the inside of one building) to Point B (the inside of another building) only having to take on the cold elements for a very short period in-between Points A & B. All is good 😉

  7. It 18F outside with a windchill of -10F. My son decides he is wearing shorts to school. He gets in the vehicle and I dont notice until we get to school. “Where are your pants!” I yell. “I didn’t want to wear them”, he retorts. “I will be inside all day anyway” UGH! “Hey dummy, what happens if you have a fire alarm or other school evacuation?” I yell as he fast walks into the building.

  8. I have two girls who suffer from it. Or better said: I suffer seeing them in their thin leggings while I’m in two or three layers of clothing and I’m still cold.

  9. This was the last fight as a married couple for me! If he want to wear long sleeves or short pants or clothes that do not match. Go for it! He’s clean! And for my child it was about change and security! Which fighting before school to start the day was NOT ok w me!! If it reflected I was a bad parent who cares! Because I knew my child needed to learn on his own and feel confident!

  10. My oldest son and oldest grandson hate to wear pants. We live in Indiana so it does get cold sometimes extremely cold. It really used to bother me when my son was young that he didn’t want to wear pants but I then thought back to when I was a child. As a girl we were not allowed to wear pants to school. Dresses and skirts were the dress code. How is it any different for a girl to wear a dress or skirt and a boy to wear shorts? NONE! So if they want to wear shorts, LET THEM!

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