It seems that everyone we know is sick this time of year when germs are bouncing around everywhere. So, it’s no surprise when members of your household are knocked out for the count by a cold virus or the flu.
Here’s the thing, though- not everyone weathers illness with the same… stamina, shall we say?
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Now granted it’s a stereotype, and there ARE plenty of men that tough out being sick with nary a complaint. And likewise, there are plenty of women who want to curl up in a fetal ball & weep when they’re under the weather (myself included).
But generally speaking, lots of guys out there are NOT model sick patients, and many women approach a sick day just like every.other.day, doing all the things.
Enjoy some laughs along with the folks on Twitter as they describe what “being sick” looks like in their house!
- We definitely change the way we feel about our sick partner once married…
Him: I’m feeling under the weather.
DATING: I’m so sorry. That stinks.
ENGAGED: I will nurse you back to health with chicken soup and cuddles.
MARRIED: *sprays him with lysol*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 1, 2018
2. Once you’re married with kids, there’s no time for being sick.
Dating: You make sick look sexy.
Married with kids: You're sick? Yeah…um, maybe you should sleep in the guest room.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) January 11, 2019
3. Well, usually one partner can be sick… and the other partner can then be jealous.
You know you're a parent when your husband is sick and has to stay in bed and you look at him and think, “You lucky bastard!"
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 10, 2018
4. We women are used to getting things done, even while sick.
I have a woman cold, it's where you downplay your symptoms because you were taught from a young age that your health isn't important anyway.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 14, 2016
5. Whereas a lot of guys…? Not so much.
MAN: i have a cold, i'm going to bed
WOMAN: [with fresh c-section wound balancing baby on one hip and laundry basket on the other] lol ok
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) September 22, 2017
6. In fact, some men act like little boys when not feeling well. Literally.
wife*puts cough drops and Batman activity book on counter*
clerk:Got a sick little boy at home?
[cut to me with tissues up my nose]
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) January 10, 2017
7. While men & women can have the same virus, results may (WILL) vary.
Me: *coughs, sneezes for a week*
Him: *sniffles once* I think we're getting sick.
Me: I'm not getting sick. I've BEEN sick. It's not that ba-
Him: *already in the fetal position, dialing 911*
— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) June 26, 2018
8. If women took true sick days, it would be anarchy. Total & complete chaos.
My throat hurts. This can't happen.
If I get sick, the house collapses, and my family wanders the streets in search of shelter and food.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) April 7, 2016
9. You may be able to squeeze in a nap- as long as it’s not around mealtime.
When I’m not feeling well my husband will check on me to see if I’m still making dinner.
— m?mma unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) December 30, 2018
10. Although, granted, some guys try to help out… which is sweet. Very sweet, apparently.
I'm ill. My husband went to the store for saltines & soup. Then he got Oreos. For a sick person? Didn't want to seem ungrateful so I ate 6.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) September 22, 2017
11. But women know that if we catch a cold, HE’LL catch it, too. And we dread it.
Coming down with a cold, so thoughts & prayers for my husband; he'll probably have the same cold soon… only way worse. Obviously.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) September 20, 2017
12. Because the reality is, his cold will be worse. Always. It’s science.
I'll be on my deathbed and my husband will still say, "Oh man. I've got the worst cold ever. The. Worst."
— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 22, 2017
13. And we wish we could be sympathetic, guys, but… we don’t want to.
Told my wife I feel like I’m getting sick and she immediately started filibustering about how she never feels great but she powers through and gets everything done so if I’m anything short of dead tomorrow I’m totally screwed.
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) November 3, 2018
14. In fact, we need to outlaw this nonsense. No more man-cold whining.
Apparently men have been overreacting and now my wife says I’m not allowed to get sick anymore.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 7, 2018
15. (If only it were that easy!)
My husband isn't even sick anymore and we are still talking about how sick he was a few weeks ago.
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) February 24, 2017
16. “In sickness and in health”… unless your partner’s cold is worse than yours. Just say NO.
Get married so that when you’re sick your spouse can complain that they’re probably sicker because everything is always a contest.
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) December 23, 2017
If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then the cold germs on Mars must be way worse… and there’s no such thing as a sick day on Venus.
Want to see more hilarious parenting tweets? Check out these posts:
- 15 Funny Posts on Social Media From Those Who Are Tidying Up With Marie Kondo
- 18 Hilarious Parenting Tweets About Struggle To Get Healthy When You Have Kids
- 16 Hilarious Tweets That Prove All Kids Are Gross
- 17 Funny Parenting Tweets About The Hell That Is Having Sick Kids
- 16 Funny Tweets About The Hell That Is The School Morning Drop-Off